Simian Farmer

Attention Getters Anonymous

According to the delightfully diminutive Sheryl of Paper Napkin, this is now Delurking Week.  The second annual.

With that in mind, if you regularly frequent this site, and even if you irregularly infrequent this site, please take 30 seconds to post a salutory comment just below.  I'd greatly appreciate it and would cherish the opportunity to get to know who reads this tripe.

If you don't, I'll pinch my son until he cries and post a photo of the cutest crying baby the world has ever known.  Nobody wants that, now, do they?  Great big crocodile tears blazing a path through the remnants of dried oatmeal clinging to my son's cheeks until, finally, the tears trickle into the corners of his mouth where the salty residue triggers latent memories of his time in his mother's womb; his subsequent pining will spur on a whole new round of blubbering, further propogating the emotional fiasco to the point where he will require counselling until he reaches the age of majority.

How could you be so cruel?  Really!!

Seven Things

One should absorb the colour of life, but one should never remember its details. Details are always vulgar.

~Oscar Wilde

It really wasn't much of a contest

The most important work you and I will ever do will be within the wall of our own homes.

~Harold B. Lee

Oops! I promise not to do it again

To anyone who had swung by this site in the past day and a half and has since suffered from bleeding eyes or other physical malaise caused by the horrible clash of colour that had infested your screen while viewing, I apologise.

I was fiddlin' with the template a bit on Tuesday and didn't realise until just this afternoon that I had saved those changes.  Been away from a computer for the last short while.

My bad.

Caption Conundrum

In order to rein in some of the entropic nature of this here site, I'd like to introduce another element of design stability to its appearance.

I've been going with the same font for the banner since May; I like the current colour scheme; but I've still been waffling on changing the tag line every month.  As you can see, there isn't one for November.

I'd like a tag line that briefly describes the general content here (personal introspection, familial floundering, general observations... in about that order).  The actual title is both a play on my own name as well as intimating the fact that I'm in the midst of raising my child(ren) with my wife.  Subtlely always wins points with me.

You can see the ones I've done previously at the banner archive.

So the proposal is this:

1. Compose a single line that will, for forever and a day, be associated with this site.
2. Again, check the archives to see what's been done before.
   (Note that some previous banners were lost due to Typepad data crashing last month, but I got a free year of hosting as an apology, so I'm cool with that.)
3. Respond in the comments to this post with suggestions.
4. I reserve the right to eschew all submissions received and think myself the wittiest of all.
5. The successful submission will garner the submitter the opportunity to guest-post here.
6. I realise that's not really a prize.
7. I'm just lookin' for suggestions.
8. The December banner will sport the new 'LOOK'.

That's about it.

Inundate me with your creativity so I can take credit for it.

Don't fear the white space

A little early for a new November page banner, but I wanted to spread out a bit as well.  The width of the page, I mean.  Though my ass has been following suit nicely the past couple months.

You go and run one Death Race and all of a sudden feel justified in not running AT ALL since the beginning of August.

Indolence, thy name is Simon!

For the sake of posterity

This is probably the best search query for which my site has ever been hit.  It came from Askjeeves.  And the real kicker?  I followed the search query and I was the very first result.  I'm so proud.

last night after my wife spanked me, she took me to outside porch and shaved my dick and balls and told me this will be done weekly from now on.

I figure, if you're going to shave your dick and balls, you may as well do it weekly or else it'd get all itchy, right?

STILL NOT QUITE COMPETENT

Please stand by while I attempt to sort out my various incompetencies.

OK, I have most of this domain mapping stuff figured out now, through trial and error and the helpful folks at Typepad who were undoubtedly rolling their eyes at my 'help ticket' submissions.  (Thanks Laura!)

I do believe that all I have to do is wait for my DNS registration to go fully active from the place I bought it, which can take a couple days they tells me.

In the meantime, you can still get here straight from simianfarmer.com, but the permalinks at the bottom of each post won't work for you.  Minor though, now that I look a little more normal again.  I didn't want all of you to see me with my clothes off, but what is blogging about if not exhibitionism, eh?

By the way, I also set up an Email address just for the site, so you can send stuff to:
simon AT simianfarmer DOT com

A Happy Thanksgiving weekend to my fellow Canuckleheads.

Bloggy stuff

Two items of indeterminate import:

ONE

The most important one first.

I have now considered myself to be important enough to merit buying my own domain name and redirecting all traffic from there to here.  Call your neighbours, Email your friends and give your significant other a smack on the ass.  Tell 'em all to change their bookmarks.  (That smack on the ass is just for your own benefit.)

I can now more easily be found navel-gazing at:

http://simianfarmer.com

Sure the old one will still work, but it's so, like, démodé.  You don't want the other kids in class to be teasing you behind your back, do you?  Honestly.

TWO

I got an Email earlier this morning from the CEO of Typepad, the good people who provide the virtual space and tools I use to fritter away my time typing this tripe.

Seems they had a small problem and lost some server data for a number of Typepad blogs.  Mine included.  I only noticed that my ABOUT picture was gone yesterday, so I replaced it and thought nothing more of it.  After some more snooping around today, I lost all my pictures from my Death Race album and only one other picture so far.  Not quite enough spilt milk to cry over.  But if you do happen to notice anything else amiss, let me know, would you?  It's always nice to hear from you.

And for recompense?  I've been granted a free 12-month extension on my account here for the inconvenience.  w00t!

The only thing better than free stuff is sex.  So thanks, Typepad guys.  For giving me the extra year here and not offering to have sex with me instead.  That would have been awkward.

Underwhelming, eh?

I got tagged by some Dixie chick. Here's the assignment:

1. Go into your archive.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag five other people to do the same.

The post was titled: Star Wars banner

The fourth and final sentence of the post was:

I'm getting very excited.

Incentive, I suppose, to add a little more poignancy to whatever tripe I type here.  Something I've gotten a little better at since then, almost a year ago.

And not to be a spoil sport, but I'm going to ignore the final instruction.  No tagging.  Do it if you want to; or not if you don't.  I'm still grumpy from being woken up at 6 this morning by a persistent and very NOT SLEEPY 5 month old boxer puppy whom I then took out walking for two hours.  Did I say that it was 6 AM when she woke me up?  Yes, it was 6 AM when she woke me up on a SUNDAY!

The first hour or so was spent resisting the urge to return home sans chien. 

I must be strong...