Why you should feel sorry for my wife

We pulled into the Timmy Ho's drive through after the boys' gymnastics class this morning.  We had to hurry and couldn't take the time to walk in and dine because Amy, new-age liberated woman that she is, went and got herself a part time job and has to work today from 11 AM to 8 PM. 

So we had to hit the drive through.

I said, "Uh oh," as soon as we pulled up to the speaker to order.

Amy said, "What is it?"

"I wish I had a Sharpie," I replied.

"What for?" she queried.

"To fix this sign taped to the order thingie," I said with obvious grammatical hauteur.

It read:

DEAR VALUED CUSTOMERS

WE ARE OUT OF STEEPED TEA

SORRY

INCONVENIENCE

And I would have used a Sharpie to fix it thus:

DEAR VALUED CUSTOMERS:

WE ARE OUT OF STEEPED TEA;

SORRY FOR THE

INCONVENIENCE.

Amy rolled her eyes and there was obvious relief in her voice when she told me that the truck in front of us was moving ahead and we should do likewise.

It's still bugging me right now.

Comments

[Émilie B]

It's actually a good thing there are such errors out there, else how could we enjoy feeling superior about possessing a decent English (or French)?

You should get a Sharpie to carry around; it'd be the only thing you'd need to be a grammar superhero, discreetly saving the (town), one handwritten notice at a time. But make it a red one, so they can learn from their mistakes.

[Émilie B]

And, hey! Will Amy be back with tales (and details) about her new independent adventure?

[Mark]

This very easily could have happened in our car, but not at a Timmy Ho's; they haven't caught on in our area.

Semicolons are contagious.

While my wife notices the errors on signs right along with me, she would have joined Amy in eye-rolling at the first mention of actually correcting it. Heck, I can't even get her to say she's feeling pretty well instead of pretty good. If our boy ends up speaking wrong, we'll all know where to point the finger.

[Simon]

Émilie,

I think I might make a habit of carrying a Sharpie around for just that purpose. I'd be sort of like a grammatical superhero - vigilante style!!

Mark,

Wives seem to excel at the whole eye-rolling thing. I'm not too sure what it is about that. Perhaps somebody should do a scientific study of some sort. There's probably a very good reason behind it all; certainly nothing to do with husbandly actions and all that.

[andi]

Gah! This drives me insane. Feel free to send me the location of said T Ho's and I will go there with a Sharpie myself.

Or perhaps one of our fellow Grammar Nazis has already corrected it? That's what I'm going to tell myself so that I can sleep tonight.

[marian]

There was a segment on American TV recently about a guy who does just that--goes around correcting signs. He'll ask the store owner if they mind if he corrects the grammer/spelling/punctuation on their window signs. He has all kinds of paint and, I'm sure, Sharpies. I'll see if I can find it on the web and send you a link.

Here we go. He has a blog!:
http://thegrammarvandal.wordpress.com/category/street-signs/

[marian]

Okay, wait. That should read, "She has a blog." The video I saw was about someone else, seeing as how the grammar vandal is a woman, and the one I saw was most definitely not. But you get the idea...

[Simon]

Andi,

I'm thinking of going back with a Sharpie to do it myself. It grates on my mind even as I type this. Or they may have more steeped tea and will have taken the offending sign down by now. I hope.

Marian,

I owe you a big kiss for that blog. Spent the last 15 minutes there. Subscribed to her RSS feed. Wicked!

[Alec Lynch]

Did I ever tell you about my philosophy professor? I think you two would have gotten along well.

He once came into the history society room where I was lounging and took a look at one of the posters someone had tacked up. It was simply a Latin sentence that translates to "if you can read this; you're overeducated."

Without batting an eyelash or cracking a smile he pulled out a pen, crossed out one word, added another, and put in a punctuation mark.

I've never really thought he got the spirit of the message.

[Moksha Gren]

Can't say the punctuation would have offended me (big shock, I know.) Just doesn’t seem significant on a sign like this, the line breaks do the job nicely.

Plus, I would have used a comma where you used a colon (more friendly-like) and a period where you used a semicolon. Nothing wrong with a semicolon exactly, but a period does the job just as nicely and seems less pedantic…assuming of course “less pedantic” is a goal ;)

[Amy]

I can't believe I know you guys!!! Or should I say i cant believe i know U guys

[Dave]

*LOL* I thought you were going to say they used "color" instead of "colour" or something like that...!

[Elizabeth]

(Oh, I can resist anything but temptation...)

Mark,

That's "speaking wrongly" ;) 'Tis an adverb; you know, like 'well' instead of 'good' :D

xo,

Grammar Nazi

[Moksha Gren]

Further, Mark, is "feling good" actually wrong? Feeling "well" could mean that my fingers are sensitive or that I am feeling healthy. Adverb, here. Feeling "good" on the other hand sees good as an adjective describing your current mood. But I think, "I'm feeling good today," is a perfectly correct sentence.

What does bug me is when people respond to "How are you?" with "I'm well." Neal Conan on NPR does this sort of over-correction...unless, of course, he actually means that he is not ill, in which case he is correct.

[Paula]

"I'm good"

*shudder*

Sincerely,
Grammar Nazi's partner, who wonders if 'doing well' instead is equally ungrammatical.

[Moksha Gren]

I think "I'm doing well" is perfect. Adverb modifying "doing."

[Amy]

Whenever someone asks me how I am I say " I am well thanks". anyone want to devour that???

[Monique]

I totally understand Simon. Where I used to catch the bus in front of Manulife place, there are a million banners that say "The Shop's at Manulife Place". It made me angry every day!