She was talking about a lollipop, people!

The following is an excerpt from a dinner conversation earlier this week.

One caveat: it may not be suitable for those who clutch propriety to their bosom like some cute little bunny with brown spots and big, wet eyes who just wants to nibble on the carrot you're holding tantalizingly out of reach of its straining teeth. 

Just saying.  Fair warning is all.  Amy and I have to get in all the double entendres we can while they still sail over the boys' heads.

********

Amy: Si, are you still putting conditioner in Dex's hair?

Simon: Not every night, but most of the time, yeah.

Amy: Geez, your hair is getting long, Dex!  Didn't we just get it cut?

Simon: That was at least two months ago, Aim.  Maybe three.  Hey Dex, do you want to go get a hair cut with Mommy later this week?

Declan: You mean a hair cut, from the hair cut store?

Amy: Yes.  We'll go and get Fallon to cut your hair again.  Would you like that?

Declan: Sure.

Amy: And do you know what else you get?

Declan: What else?!

[He's smiling, because he knows, but he likes to play the game.]

Amy: Well, is it red?

Declan: Yeah!

Amy: Is it sticky?

Declan: Yes!

Amy: Is it sweet?

Declan: Yeah... what is it?!

Amy: Hmm.  Sort of sounds like Daddy's private parts.

Declan: Mom, what did you said?

Amy:  Um... uh, just that Daddy has pirate parts!

Declan: Oh.

Simon: Yar, and it's only got one eye, too!

Comments

[Paul]

You know, they may not 'get it' right now, but kids have frighteningly good memories. One day, when he's about thirteen, he's gonna suddenly announce, completely out of the blue, "you guys are gross!"

[Moksha Gren]

Your title is misleading, Simon. Declan was certainly talking about a lillipop...I'm not so sure Amy was ;) And poor Dex...the nightmares he'll have as his slumbering brain tries to solve the puzzle presented. "One-eyed, sticky private part?" will be the phrase that sends him skreiking in the night.

[Dixie]

Aaah, I love it. But you know I would. (Last week I was tempted to do a post about our family's favourite meals -- shrimp fettuccine, for one -- and title it, "Proof that all good things in life come with a white creamy sauce." But Marc quickly said I shouldn't. And he's right. I'm glad I could write it here in good conscience. :)

[Simon]

Paul,

If I can consistently gross out my kids in the future, I'll be a happy man. Especially if my wife keeps likening my bits to a lollipop.

Moksha,

Those dreams Amy and I will inflict on our boys in the future will be their just desserts for the trial of raising them. Am I starting to sound like my own parents now? Probably.

Dixie,

That would have been one of the best post titles ever! While I, of course, would normally admonish you to listen to your husband, this would have been one of those rare exceptions where ignoring him was the better route. At least you had an outlet here!

[Mark]

It's fun, but we've severely curtailed our indulgence in such adult wordplay when Ben's within earshot.

You say you gave her an earshot? Gross!

[Dave]

*ROTFL*

Good one Simon... (and Amy)!

[fv]

Dear Declan and/or Tavish,

You are probably reading this in the google cache or the internet chip in your head or maybe in a pair of display contact lenses.

Yes, your parents are gross.

fv

[Cheeseburger Brown]

I think that conversation is infinitely preferable to one in which your wife was unfamiliar or apathetic about your anatomy. Sad, but common.

If your sprogs do read this one day, they'll at least know mommy and daddy actively enjoyed each other.

[Simon]

Mark,

Your curtailment is more impetus for us to speak carelessly as much as we can, while we can.

Dave,

Amy and I take turns being each other's straight man. Or woman, as the situation dick-tates.

Vinny,

Yes. Yes we are.

Mr. Brown,

I revel daily (but still not frequently enough) in my wife's relative uncommonality.

[marian]

Frankly, I'm a little scared by the red and sticky part.

[marian]

I mean pink, or mauve, perhaps. And satiny, maybe. But red and sticky? Not so much.