Doldrums

I had a really hard time falling asleep Sunday night, and I ended up watching Master and Commander on DVD until very nearly 3.30 AM.  (MAN! did I drink a lot of coffee on Monday!)  Even then it was a while before I actually nodded off.  Say what you will about the asshole reputation that Russell Crowe totes around with him like some favourite leather jacket, I do like his movies.

Near the mid-point of the flick, Captain Jack Aubrey's ship, the Surprise, in pursuit of the French privateer Acheron, wallows for several days in the doldrums, bereft of wind and without any rain to replenish its dwindling fresh water supply.  The crew starts to get surly and a miasma of discontent spreads, to the point of the word 'mutiny' being bandied about in quiet with fearful, surreptitious glances.  Superstitious blame for the bad weather was placed on an obsequious midshipman who, in the face of concerted derision from the entire crew, ended up committing suicide by lobbing himself over the rail of the ship with a cannonball in hand.  He couldn't handle the stress of so much perceived incompetence, and so ended it.

I am in a similar - though far less perilous - position for want of something to write in this space.  The derision is only self-made, and I don't feel like tossing off in any literal or figurative sense.  The last couple posts have been photo fodder (not necessarily a bad thing, but still), and, looking even further back, I haven't really updated verbally on much of anything since the very beginning of November.

One of the first and cardinal rules of Bloggers Who Want To Be Taken Seriously is never to say that you have nothing to say.  So my intent is to imply that, without coming right out and whining.  I hate a whiner.

This, then, is really a call to anyone who would like to pose any sort of question for me to answer.  Anything.  Do you want to know the meteorological reasons behind the title of this post, the doldrums?  I really do know that and would be happy to try to turn it into an educational and (hopefully) entertaining post.  Perhaps a question you're certain I won't know the answer to?  I'll research it and get back to you.  Honest.  Something more personal?  Go ahead, try me.  I'm good for it.  This is a taboo-free zone.

Rather than lob myself over the ephemeral edge of the blog, weighted down with the cannonball of incompetence into the sea of mediocrity that is the internet upon which we tack, toil and pitch, I turn to you, good readers, to be the wind in my jib and the salt spray upon my brow as I seek less temperate and more challenging climes.

Comments

[Moksha Gren]

I too have been battling the calm winds. I however am facing a different reason. I tell myself that I shouldn't be writing as much on the blog since I should be writing on my short-story. As a consequence...I write nothing. I'll do my best to throw some topics your way.

1) What are YOU not writing a story. I was promised one, you know. Please discuss your lethargy on this point.

2) Today, the sun will set on your fair city at 4:20pm and will not rise again until 8:25am. What effect could THAT be having on your duldrums and are you really never tempted to run screaming southward?

3) Seen the new footage for the upcoming Star Wars TV Show? Can you find it in you heart to hope again for a return to the SW universe after the last string of films?

4) Through a fluke occurence in the time/space continuum, you are flung into the past where you meet 12-year old Simon Fraser. What do you talk about? What does he think of you? You of him?

5) Why won't you buy your wife a bike?

[Mark]

This seems to be going around. Life gets in the way of blogging for free. I have a few posts "in the can" that might suck lagoon water, for all I know, but I'll probably end up chucking them out here for all to see.

Oh, and buy your wife a bike, you cheap bastard.

[Émilie B]

Dude, I can't even find an idea - or time - for my own journal these days.

They're making a Star Wars TV show? In the words of Bruce Davison as Senator Kelly commenting on Toad's fly-catching demonstration in X-Men 1: "Eeewwwarch!"

I gotta say I appreciate your dilemna here: there is now no way you can either get Amy a bike, or not get her one, and get out of this without a string of comments about the whole story. We'll have to see what Christmas brings...

[Alec Lynch]

If I could think of deep and intelligent questions worth pondering, I'd have my own blog. So instead...

You've been given a week-end on the Holodeck (or the random plot generator as my father-in-law likes to call it); what do you do?

(Amy or others can go along if you like)

[Amy]

I seem to have the opposite going on. I will be doing random chores and I will think of something I can blog about. I need to start writing them down because I always forget what the ideas were when it comes time to blog.
Question: Why do you cheap out at Christmas time but will spend a fortune on shipping things to people or buying strange things like a kettle bell and instruction book, a fountain pen and different cartridges and ink, or even geeky shirts that have nothing on them but a computer power button??? You buy weird things...

[Dave]

I'm with Moksha Gren.... I think it's Winter SAD syndrome myself.

But, if I had to ask the question (and I'll be putting this on my blog as well next week:

If you had 1 hour to live, and had to use that time to tell a complete stranger about yourself, what would you impart to them about Simon, and his life?

[fv]

If you had to remove one tattoo, which would it be? If you had to add one tattoo, what would it be?

[Simon]

Moksha, thanks for the quality feedback. I may not answer your number 5 right away, but I'll get to it *eventually*.

Mark, thanks. Like I don't get told that often enough at home. I will buy her a bike, promise. Just not for christmas.

Émy, yes, they're making a Star Wars TV show. The first couple episodes (at least) are already in the bag. We're looking at a start date some time in double-odd-eight. Just not sure when. I have hope. I always have hope.

Alec, I think I already have an answer for your question. I'll see...

Amy, darling, uh, that might be an awkward answer, but I swear I'll get around to it. I did promise, after all. Dammit.

Dave, I don't really get affected by the seasonal affective disorder thing. I really do like the winter. And thanks for the question.

Vinny, I know which one it would be to remove. To add though... meditate on this, I will.

[marian]

If you had one piece of advice you were allowed to give your boys, and only one, what would it be?

[Mark]

Not only a live-action series, but an animated one, too, from what I hear. Can't remember where I read that, but it was Lucas saying that they already had lots of animated episodes ready to roll. Is that the one you were typing about?

Here's a question: You and your wife are choosing a recliner. One of you wants a wall-hugger, the other does not. Which of you wants which, and how do you settle it?

[Moksha Gren]

I like the new "Contemplative Simian" picture. One can only assume there was a glass of Scotch resting just out of frame.

[Alec Lynch]

Your more generous than I am Mosksha. I assumed there to be a thought bubble over his head with a single (possibly repeating) word: boobies.

;)

[Alec Lynch]

Dagnabbit! "You're"; not "your"...I do know what contractions are, I swear.

-A'lec

[Moksha Gren]

Alec - Just cuz he's drinking Scotch and posed all contemplative....doesn't mean that what he's contemplating isn't boobies. In fact...I'd say it's very likely that we're both right.

[Simon]

So that look of benign altruism on my face couldn't hide my true thoughts from you, eh?

Curses!!