Christmas came early to Cuba

Or at least, Tropical Storm Noel made it feel that way a little bit.  Ho ho ho.  Good thing we were all well into the Cuban version of Christmas cheer by the time it made its presence felt.  Water?!  By that time, we scoffed at water.  We were akin to W.C. Fields for that week: "Water?  Never touch the stuff!"

There were nine of us, all told, at the beginning of all things, and we made a very fine fellowship, though by no means did we all know each other at the outset.  We didn't end as nine, but it was a good number to start with, and in other situations can be a good number to end with but, as I said, it wasn't the case here.

There were me (Simon; hi!) and Amy who left from Edmonton.  We abandoned our boys to the auspices of their grandmother, who had the generous nature to drive five hours to stay with her grandsons.  We went mainly to get the four esses.  Sun, surf, sand, and shivalry!  (OK, I lied about one of those.  And I'm a better speller than that.)  And we got... well, we got a whole lot of two of them.

There were Carie (yes, just one R) and Julie from Lethbridge.  (They're Lethbians.)  Carie is Amy's sister and she has NEVER BEEN ON VACATION IN HER LIFE.  At least, never like this.  I've also never seen the sort of smile on her face that was present for nearly the entire trip.  It would take one hell of an effort to wipe it off her face this next while.  A courtesy, no doubt, which her 13 year-old daughter will happily oblige.  (I'm teasing, HA!)  And Julie, well, Julie works with Carie at the CRA (which is the Canuck version of the IRS, only with marginally less social stigma, but fully as much catty in-fighting when you get an office of women working together... or so I hear), and she likes long walks on the beach, beer, long eyelashes, and backrubs.

From Calgary came James, Kelli, Andre, Monique and Rui (pronounced ROO, like that kangaroo friend of Winnie the Pooh's, only he's hairier, carries a gun, and has a slightly more pragmatic view of life).  James and Kelli abandoned their own seven month-old son to grandparents in much the same fashion, and with similar sounding whoops of glee, that Amy and I did ours.  (All four of us had Martin Luther King "free at last" moments.)  Andre and Monique don't have any kids, but after this past week I'm fairly certain they'd have been willing to sell one to ensure being able to come on a trip like this.  Then again, given the relative bartering prowess Andre put on display all week, I think he could have gotten a better deal for Manhattan than what those New Yorkers did.  And Rui, he's a Calgary city cop.   He bought James and Kelli's house from them, knows Kelli from the school she used to work at, and has an awesome (totally true) story that involves a flying car, a rookie, an ex-boyfriend (not his), and a dildo in a laundry basket.

That brings us to nine, which, as I intimated earlier, isn't quite the end.  All-inclusive resorts are sociable places, and being driven into confined spaces by the torrential rains of tropical storms is a sort of catalyst for interactions that would not normally take place, or ever really be sought out.  Add copious amounts of free rum to the mix and...   I forget if we found Jordanna first, or she found us, but it turned out she was from Edmonton too, and so tenuous a thread as an accident of geography was enough to cement a friendship for a whole week.

Our relationship (and by "our" I refer to the initial group of nine, and not just me, and there's a reason for my clarifying this, which will make itself known in a moment) can sort of be summed up by an exchange that took place Friday morning.  It was our first day of awesome sun, and it was our last day of vacation.

Picture it: the scene unfolds at the deck chairs only a few steps away from the stairs descending into the pool, themselves a 10 second swagger through hip-deep water to the shaded pool bar.  Rising from the stairs, water cascades off a twenty-something, blonde-haired, blue-eyed, bikini-clad lass, her swimming suit shouts to any who cast their gaze to one of three strategic places, the trifecta shouting out in white print on black: "It's All About Me."  She folds herself onto her chair and begins applying sun tan lotion.  She casually mentions to Amy that she might need her husband's services for the back application.  It's Friday, end of the trip, we've all become good friends by now: Amy gives the OK.  Simon, hearing all of this, has been personally consulted on none of it.  (It should be noted that the second half of the preceding sentence surprised him not at all.)

Jordanna approaches, turns to present, Simon applies, and a small yet appropriate measure of time elapses before the following conversation takes place:

Simon: Wow, this is taking quite a while to get in!

Jordanna: Oh, it must be because my skin's so wet.

Amy: **snort**,  **guffaw**

Simon & Jordanna: [pregnant pause]

Simon: It normally has the opposite effect, doesn't it?

*********************

Pictures and other stuff later in the week.  But you'd have to get Rui to tell that story in person.  It really is that good.

Comments

[Mark]

Sorry the weather sent you guys inside, but glad you seem to have had fun regardless. The no kids for a week thing sounds glorious pretty much no matter what's going on. Time to just remember what made you two commit to a life together in the first place (and hardbodies requesting a rub).

[Tal]

Oooh I was thinking about you two when I heard about the weather. I'm glad you had a great time anyways!

[Moksha Gren]

Seems the coincidental Edmontonian pops up everywhere one goes. You guys are like some sort of Monty Python running gag.

Glad to hear they had enough rum to make you dismiss the weather as a trivial detail. And excellent set-up for the story. It must be too early in the morning, becasue it didn't even dawn on my that the 9 original members could go UP to 10. I was waiting for an argument or for someone to get eaten by a shark. But I'm much happier with the way it turned out (and I can only assume you were as well.)

[marian]

thank god you're back! it's been dead around here without you... and we were all hoping you were not as well, what with the weather.

[Dave]

*ROTFL* Now that's funny....

How was Cuba anyways? Too bad we can't go there.. *frown*

[Andre]

hahaha....good letter dude. Manhattan wouldn't stand a chance ;)

And by the way, that has got to be the best description of lotion application EVER.

[Amy]

The weather was actually great considering the circumstance. We were able to be outside everyday it was just for shorter periods of time. The last conversation with Jordanna was actually funnier. The way I heard it was...
Simon: It's kinda hard getting it in there
Jordanna: Yeah, it's because I am so wet.
Amy: ( giggles quietly to herself)

[Moksha Gren]

As promised, that new camera is great at taking topless photos. I'll admit I had hoped for slightly...different subjects.

Amy - Your way is actually quite a bit funnier. But, don't tell Simon. He takes his word-smithery pretty seriously.

[Simon]

Mark, the no kids thing was just as glorious as we were expecting. Heck, I'd do it again right now if I could.

Tal, don't take this the wrong way, but I wasn't thinking about anybody else while we were away. I hope that doesn't hurt your feelings!

Moksha, to be likened to a running Python gag is a compliment of the highest order; I thank you, sir.

Marian, I'll do my best to inject whatever pithy comments I can, soon. I, too, am happy not to be dead.

Dave, Cuba was very excellent. The pics I'll post next will tell that tale better than I can.

Moksha (again) - yeah, well, um... Amy sort of made a habit of one-upping me on story telling while we were away. Just sort of appropriate that it carries on here.