Mister Dude

I've been given my first taste of filial rejection.  Been cast aside by my own.  I'm glad I was near the kitchen at the time because I found it hard to swallow and I needed something to drink to lube the old esophagus.  Being spurned by one's own son the first time isn't an easy thing.

I mean, sure, there have been plenty of times when either boy has hurled himself out of my lap in favour of the softer, kinder ministrations of his mother.  Or just wanted to be by himself.  Or preferred a much more entertaining uncle or aunt.  Those I can deal with and have always expected.

But now it's the neighbour kids.  They're more fun to play with.

Last week Declan wanted to be a robot.  He proclaimed this to me in very plain terms and stood gazing up at me with the most guileless eyes.  He didn't even look like he expected me to do something about it -- he KNEW I was going to!

Once my sci-fi, geeky heart contracted in upon itself after blowing wide open with indescribable paternal pride, I did then immediately set to doing something about it.  One square drawer from a small cardboard toy chest became his robot helmet.  I grabbed one of my rolls of duct tape, a utility knife, and pilfered one of the many stray diaper boxes we have loitering around the house.  A few minutes later and an armoured robot body encased my vulnerable son.  A couple of the freshly hewn flaps from the diaper box, when rolled up and taped, made for excellent robot legs after holes were cut for pink, fleshy toes to protrude.

I had nearly finished the second of the cardboard robot arms when the doorbell rang.  "Oh!  It's the kids!" was all Declan knew to exclaim.  He quickly kicked off the robot legs, tossed aside the colourful helmet, and wormed himself out of the body so he could run outside to play with the three neighbour kids who seem to have parasitically glommed on to us ever since we had our garage sale and they hung out in our driveway all day, every day, for three days.  (I don't mind them.  They're good kids.  But they're over here knocking on the door All The Time.) 

It took them a while to learn my name.  They caught on right away to Declan, Tavish, and the energetic dog Jango.  But until just a couple days ago I have been politely referred to as, "Hey!  Mister, uh, Dude.  Can Declan or Tavish come out and play?"

Once The Kids arrived at our front door, Declan underwent an immediate reprioritisation of what it was he wanted to do at that instant.  And lo!  It involved his father not one whit.  Gone was the fervour that had my first boy sitting in the kitchen chair, staring raptly as I made a diaper box transform magically from mundane cardboard into the impervious casing that would protect the tender innards of my excited cybernetic machine-child. 

With a simple, resounding DING-DONG, my ad hoc Dalek disappeared and the Declan that replaced him was also gone.  Fled.  (Well, I could see him playing with The Kids in our backyard, but you get my point.)  It's already time to get used to being the Parental Unit and not Daddy quite as often.  My mother's probably going to get a real kick out of reading this.

*****

Speaking of robots...

Robo Dex!

Comments

[Mark]

Awesome robot kid!

I've dodged the diss bullet so far, but I can see it coming any day now.

I'm sure you found something to do with your free time. I know I would.

[Moksha Gren]

It's a great robot, Simon...even if Dex failed to realize it ;)

In the end though, you really don't want a kid who would rather hang out with his Dad than with kids his own age. Leads to odd socialization isues down the road, methinks. So, in your new found free time...take comfort in the fact that you're raising a well-adjusted boy.

Also...I'm liking the new banner. First time Jango's made an appearance there, I think.

[wil]

Just wait until he starts asking for the truck keys...

[TerriTorial]

Great Robot. Jakey will be jealous!

As for him choosing his friends over you...get used to it. My kids already find us totally UN cool and Boring...until they need a snack/money/entertaining, etc. Then we rock apparently.

[Émilie B]

You know it's a good thing the boys make friends. That means in the future a decent portion of their time will be spent playing with the other kids, and while you still have to watch over them now, in a short while they will be old enough to roam around the neighbourhood by themselves for a certain amount of time, and that time will return entirely to yourself, to fill as you see fit. Of course, you'll only be half conscious of what you do in that time, a big portion of your mind absorbed in all the ways your boys' activities in the wild of the suburbs could lead to injury and general bad peer influence.

Nice refreshing new banner. And good for you, confident enough in your manhood to use a flower font for the title. :)

PS. Don't worry about your boy's future in the land of peers. Being raised by good people will sort them out when trouble arises.

[Tal]

Mister Dude. Love it! So did the neighbour kids settle on Mr. Fraser, or Simon?

[BOB]

Darn cool outfit,

I am thinking Mr. Si is a good appelation for the neighborhood kids to pick up on.

BOB

[Simon]

Mark, the diss bullet strikes unerringly at the heart. Be wary. Free time? What's that?

Moksha, it's true, I don't want to hang out with my teenaged son in front of the 7-11, sneering at all the old people who walk through the door and revelling in my surliness, but to see the beginnings of his tearing away from us is strangely sad.

Wil, that day scares me even more...

Terri, you've been forced to lure them with quads already. I don't know what we'll do. Perhaps we can confer on Saturday? Amy's buying steak. LOTS of steak! (I hope you guys like steak. Seriously.)

Émy, we're getting trained for our boys to start roaming the neighbourhood because our place has become the local magnet for all the neighbour kids who are old enough. And I'm more than confident enough to have a flower font as part of my banner. I'm enjoying the summer weather so much right now...

Tal, they've not settled on any one appellation. It waffles between Mr. Dude, Simon, Si-Mo, Simon Dude, and Hey Dude! Always respectfully, you understand.

BOB, I think Mr. Si would be a wonderful name to settle on. I'll work on it.