The meaty truth

Hot on the heels of yesterday's Burns Night post comes an introspective look at the philosophy engendered by haggis.  I was struck by this line of thought after reading the very first comment and the question posed at the end.  Why is there such a stigma attached to that Great Chieftain o' the Puddin' Race?  What gives?

The answer came to me just as quickly, and was provided posthumously by Burns himself -- in the very first line of his poem.

Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face...

Haggis is much maligned because it is honest.  It deigns not to dress itself in a concealing garnish of diverting words, nor adopt vague descriptions of its components.  Burns knew this and called it out to attention at the very beginning of his Address.  The tragedy of the haggis - and don't dare think it isn't one - stems directly from its unabashed honesty.  It is, quite tastefully, "...a mess of minced lights, livers, suet, oatmeal, onions and pepper, enclosed in a sheep's stomach..." (Tobias Smollet, 1771)  The description leaves little to the imagination, save taste, which is inferred, and that quite often erroneously.

We, as a still mostly-omnivorous species, consume vast quantities of food, much of which falls into the rather broad category of 'meat'.  Given the increasing urbanization of so much of our population, there is very little food we urbanites consume that is not, in some way, partially prepared for us.  All we have to do is add milk, cook, bake, mix, boil, broil, slice, peel, or open the hermetically sealed package.  Frequently some culinary combination of several of those.

We are ignorant in our mass consumption and more than content to remain so.  What haggis does is guilelessly reveal that from which it is made and dares you still to eat it.  No, you say (or so say many), as you shy away from the naked amber beads of oil distilling through the pores of the unbroken skin, which waits to be pierced and gush forth its doughty repast.  Those same nay-sayers would rather turn to frozen pizza, tins of spam, or a comfortable hot dog roasted on the barbeque until the skin is slightly charred and split.  (O! sweet irony you wield your bludgeon with the precision of a surgeon's scalpel, you do!)

Many hot dogs, smokies, sausages, and other butcher-refined meats are still packaged in tube-like receptacles made of animal intestines.  In fact, the pricier your processed meat product, the more likely it is to be encased in a film of that which was once on the inside of a pig, now on the outside, containing bits of its former self on its inside.  That's hilarious.  Add to this the fact that commercial ingredients are never more specific than 'beef' or 'pork' and one is truly left to wonder what, exactly, goes into our guts wrapped in something else's.

I should note here that the further along a mammal's gastrointestinal tract one travels, the closer a substance so traversing bears a striking resemblance to shit.  Thus, it may be said that not only is haggis the most honest of stuffed-meat epicurean delights, it is also the least scatological in nature and composition.  I will lastly mention that the stomach used in preparation acts as nothing more than a water-tight vessel for the final stage of cooking, and is turned inside out before that.

Enjoying haggis as much as I do, fully aware of what goes into it, I am becoming more and more convinced that most people - from which group I don't fully exclude myself - would be content to have doled out to them, in a state of ignorance and convenience, shit, rather than choose food with awareness.

Great chieftains oft lead their followers to strange new lands where the scared, huddled masses would be loathe to travel unguided.  Let us hope that hundreds of years after assuming so arduous a role, the haggis will be content to bend itself to the task for some long while yet.  There is many a man, still, who "... looks down wi' sneerin', scornfu' view on sic a dinner."

Comments

[Linda]

Sorry, don't have time to read right now but I want to say, The Joneses look really great! Love the "miniature Daddy" look...

[Mark]

Nice pic, indeed.

I liked this post. Many of my own thoughts are above, as I recall one of my family's favorite canoe-trip treats -- potted meat on crackers. No telling what's in that stuff. I think the ingredients list actually includes the word "tripe." Can't be good.

I liked this part the best: "what, exactly, goes into our guts wrapped in something else's." Nice turn of phrase, Si.

[rna]

Well writ, Simon, and as tightly reasoned as a good haggis is stuffed.

[Moksha Gren]

Excellent post.

Moonshot and I had this very conversation yesterday while driving around discussing your blog. It does seem that the distinction being made here is that we (and I use that to mean folks who eat the "standard" meats) use intestines to wrap our ground up animal parts...therefore people who wrap their ground up animal parts in stomach are disgusting. Huh? I suppose I could hear the argument that the inclusion of lung in the haggis is a bit worrisome since such a practice is actually illegal in the US if I understand the food laws properly. But oddly, that's not what folks freak out about....it's always the stomach coupled with a vague sense of entrails on the inside.

I have a good friend who is a meat eater through and through. Won't eat veggies or fruit...lives on meat bread and cheese. However, he can't eat any meat that makes its origins clear. Uncarved turkey? Gross. Cornish game? Inedible. Trout served on the fish? Revolting. Etc, etc. Meat should be served in its natural state...neatly wrapped in celophane as God intended.

I don't mean to hi-jack your post with a long-winded personal rant, but this is something I've thought a great deal about. I feel very thankful to have grown up on a small farm. Chicken dinners were preceeded by the be-heading of a chicken. And I've often commented to Moonshot that should we end up in a home with property and a small collection of animals (which is the current plan) I would probably not be averse to consuming some meat now and again. Ya see, my problem with meat is not some belief in the absolute sinful nature of eating a fellow creature, but with the way meat is processed and consumed in this culture. Horrid, horrid conditions for the animals masked behind a friendly butcher's counter at the local supermarket. I actually have less problem with a hunter than with my friend who only eats meat once he has deluded himself into forgetting where it comes from. If you choose to eat meat, so be it. But if the only way you can do something is by closing your eyes...perhaps you should do some introspection before you continue.

So, to tie this back. I say good for haggis and haggis-eaters everywhere! Gonna eat a sheep lung? Call is a sheep lung and dig in.

Also...dig the new banner

[Simon]

Linda, that look in the 'photo op' picture wasn't even intentional. I didn't realise until you mentioned it now. Weird!

Rick, I was going for something that sounded like more than just haggis fan-boy maunderings. There's a method to that meat!

Mark & Moksha, though the impetus for this post was the Moksha's comment on the previous post, the non-haggis food talk is something I've been thinking about for a long while. My grandmother cannot physically eat chicken from actively participating in their slaughter and preparation as a child. That stigma, for her, applies to poultry as a whole. Any other meat is, if you'll excuse me, fair game.

I'm a long way from adopting vegetarianism, but I don't have any qualms about where my meat comes from. What does bother me is the method, as Moksha already wrote, of how the animal that reaches my plate is raised. Alberta cattle feed lots won't keep cows for more than about 150 days because their stomach's will burst. Something like 70% of North America's arable land goes to crops to feed the meat we eat. Think about the implications of that!

I too could go on, but I'll just draw attention to a book I have intentions to read some time called The Omnivore's Dilemma. From all I've heard, it's a behaviour-changing book in that it challenges eaters to trace the path of ALL they eat back to the sun.

A lot of food for thought on a topic like this.

[Alec Lynch]

I wonder if, in part only, people's reaction to haggis also has to with the fact that it is a "traditional food" so to speak. For or against, it seems like any well known food that is attached to a specific culture or time of the year causes strong reactions in people. Every thanksgiving (somewhat ironically) my family becomes divided between those who think turkey so good that they could it it everyday, and those that think once a year is twice too many. Every Christmas, people debate fruit cake and egg nog as emotionally as most abortion debates end up becoming. You get the idea.

[Tal]

Personally, my aversion to haggis is similar to my aversion to blood sausage. It's delicious, it really is - until I remember what it is...After that elucidation, I think I'd be more likely to eat haggis than blood sausage. But of course, this is from the girl who wouldn't eat meat for years unless coerced, after one baby animals lesson in kindegarten.

Lately, I've been reading a bit on kosher meat processing and pondering whether it is the more humane way to be a meat consumer. Does Moshka have any thoughts on that?

Really dig the banner.

[Mark]

I hate to be the one to bring this up, but for many folks I know, it comes down to money. Not just for meat, but any type of consumable goods.

They were brought up with price range expectations wildly different from what they face when trying to make healthier, more altruistic choices. Because it's against their very nature to pay "that much" for an item, they never quite make the leap to their ideal grocery list.

Free range chickens and grazing cattle are happy, I'm sure, but they're also a lot more expensive per pound. Fresh fruit is healthy, but a 99-cent box of Little Debbies is much cheaper.

We're somewhere in between. On fresh fruit versus snack cakes, we take the higher ground. The rest? Not so much.

I would love to drink steroid-free, antibiotic-free, organic milk, but it costs about twice as much as the other stuff. Same with just about anything else labeled "organic."

It was a big leap for me just to pay for tasty apples instead of the mushy Red Delicious. Until I did, I pretty much didn't eat apples because Red Delicious are so disgusting. Folks won't do the same with staples like meat and milk. They'll just keep eating what is (in their budgetary priorities) affordable.

Wow, I stepped into a mess here. Sorry to take so much space, Simon. Wait? No I'm not, Mr. Dinosaur-ninja fight commenter guy.

[Linda]

I'm trying to imagine how haggis tastes. I've eaten very few things in my life that I couldn't stomach. I'm an adventurous eater. I've had bear, elk, duck, pheasant, snake, shark, snails, turtle, rabbit, pickled pig's feet, pork rinds, mush, hummus, tofu, sushi... I love Scrapple, do you know what that is? And I love braunschweiger. Those are two things that probably have lots of crap in them. But they're good. I love Spam too, but don't eat any of this stuff much anymore. I eat very little red meat, mostly because of the way it's raised and produced. The antibiotics, etc. in our food concerns me. The mercury levels in our fish, ditto. But I try to eat healthy for the most part. Chances are, if haggis doesn't taste like Limburger cheese or anchovies, I'd eat it.
Darling new banner.

[Moksha Gren]

Mark - How dare you bring money into my idealistic rant!! But, yeah. It's a concern. In our case, we save alot of money by not buying meat...and turn around and spend the savings on organic fruits and veggies and eggs that make us feel all warm and superior when we eat them ;) In general though, I take your meaning. Families are doing pretty well to keep food on the table...let alone organic meat from certified happy chickens. I figure folks are doing pretty good if they steer clear of the fast food.

Tal - I've not really looked into the details of kosher meat. I know they have rules that supposedly protect the animal from suffering, but I've read that some people think the kosher rules are even worse for the animal. So I don't really know. Back when we gave up meat about two years ago, we agreed that we just HAD to have meat...we'd drive down to Whole Foods and take comfort in their free-range, organic, etc rules for their meat. So far, however, we've not had such a craving so we've not had to deal with it.

Linda - I did love me some braunschweiger. And my Spam and egg sandwiches were a real treat until I calcualted up the fat content (eek!).

[Linda]

Simon, isn't it nice that the Mokker is taking over here so you can play Diablo?

[Moksha Gren]

Oops. Perhaps I got carried away.
[hands Si his blog back and sits on his hands] ;)

[Simon]

Moksha, you sit on your hands again and I'll be sure to get out my old wooden ruler and give 'em a good smackin'. The only thing that long, drawn-out, self-absorbed, wandering, idealistic, preachy, maundering comments indicates to me is that I've succeeded in some way with the post I presented.

Carry away!!

[Moksha Gren]

Wait...if I'm sitting on my hands while you're attempting to smack them with a ruler, I don't think you'd be smacking my hands.

"Balliff, whack his pee pee!"

[Linda]

Notice that lately we've been getting physical around here? Dive tackling, hand-smackin', pee pee whacking... You boys gettin' randy or sumpthin'?

[Simon]

Linda, my wife's been gone for a whole week and I went on a date last night with one of her bridesmaids. I'm thinking of changing my name to Randy.

[Mark]

Moksha - I totally can't believe you just quoted the "bailiff, whack his pee-pee" line from Cheech and Chong. I remember listening (and guffawing) to that tape when I was a kid. Really funny stuff from those guys.

Linda - I'm randy 24-7. That a problem?

[Linda]

Mark, not as long as you got an outlet for that. Otherwise, could be a volatile sit-che-a-shun. ;-)
Randymon, I wanna hear about this date... and why you didn't call me :-( I'm falling into a serious pouting mood.
I miss Cheech and Chong! I can't ever look at an empty mayonnaise jar without feeling some nostalgia...

[Moksha Gren]

Mark - Glad someone got that referrence. I remember listening to them on my Dad's old vinyl long before I really "got" alot of the humor.

[Mark]

Now, for some reason, the line from Cars that pops into my head the most?

Cheech Marin's character saying, "Oh, dude. Are you crying?"