Non work-related ennui

Whenever I pause to contemplate the fact that there are no naturally occurring Coffee Crisp chocolate bars anywhere in the continental United States of America, I get a little bit scared and renew my dedication never to move there.  Some things really, truly ought to be more ubiquitous than they are.  One of the few confections requiring an art for proper consumption.

Other than that, though, I have a generally high opinion of our southern neighbour and the vast majority of her inhabitants.

*****

I have not learned - nor does it appear I ever will - to keep my mouth shut past a certain point in a conversation.  Most notably with my wife.  True, she mostly knew what she got into when she married me, but I owe her more than a few kindnesses, and my tactful silence is one on which I sometimes fail to deliver.

As we drove home from... somewhere, last week, and approached the lights where we turn left onto the funny sounding French road that takes us to the oddly spelt Sesame Street character road that forks to the right where we are the first house on the truly unfortunately named Place where we live, we chatted amicably.

(I love the Discovery Channel and would be more than content with just basic cable, and that.)

Out of the blue I commented to Amy that if one of the lottery tickets (which I feel compelled to insist we rarely buy) stuck to the range hood above our stove actually paid out, one of the first things it occurs to me to do is contact the Teutuls from American Chopper and get them to make me my own Darth Vader Bike.

How fucking cool would that be?!

Amy knows of my 30-year love affair with Star Wars as well as the fact that the Discovery Channel is one of the few exemptions from my general disdain of television.  So the comment I made was neither unexpected nor particularly eye-roll worthy.  I think my wife's geek buffer is thickening.  Heck, she even went on to opine about her surprise that they haven't done that or a similarly themed bike already.

That's really where it should have stopped as we drove home.

As I lamentably continued my preponderance of pondering, I mentioned that I'd first have to learn how to ride a motorcycle, never having driven one in my life.  Then I got a little carried away when I started thinking out loud:

The bike itself won't do on its own... oh no.  I'll have to find someplace around here where I can get a custom-made leather Darth Vader suit just for riding the chopper.  You know, with that blinkie chest box he's got.  And a helmet!  With the flared neck guard, but open-faced so that I'd be Darth Vader with cool shades on or something like that.  Oh... and a cape.

I know it won't happen, so maybe I should just content myself with the hat.

*****

Watching the transition from baby to boy in our eldest son is increasingly fun.

Last night, before his bed time, I finished off my wife's glass of water.  Dex wanted the big empty plastic cup.  Sporting his little blue terry-cloth bathrobe, he trotted into the kitchen and grabbed the chair closest to the sink, dragging it with one hand while he maintained a grip on the cup with the other.  One hand dedicated to his prize, he clambered up the chair and strained on tip toes to turn on the faucet, filling the cup only halfway with tepid tap water. 

He turned off the tap and painstakingly lowered himself to kneel on the seat, his cup secured to his chest by the crook of one elbow.  He dangled his bare toes off the edge until they found the floor and, ensuring his grip, scampered back into the living room to deliver the gift to his mother.

Amy and I raptly observed the entire process.  Seeing the suppressed grin of innate pride on his return trip gave rise to our own.

*****

Browsing in Hallmark yesterday for some cards to accompany a small handful of gifts I intend to send out, I came upon a 20 dollar hardbound book detailing, in 150+ pages, the propriety that ought to be incorporated into proper personalised notes.  I tried then to think of something more disingenuous.

*****

I'm going on a trip quite suddenly this Thursday.  Back again Sunday.  More later.

*****

Reinforced by observation this morning: I can't stand the thought of cars with gas caps on the passenger side.  I'm pretty sure I'd refuse to buy a vehicle on that criteria alone.

Comments

[Moksha Gren]

I'm laughing all the harder at your conversation because I know that Moonshot has had to suffer through equally inane brain leakage from me. She smiles kindly, but I can almost hear the disbelief as it bounces around her brain, questioning what it was exactly that made her think I was a prime specimen of husband material.

Also...I have spent some time thinking about gas caps. I've had both driver and passenger and have no preference. However, I think that half the cars on the road should be passenger-capped and half should be driver-capped (with the odd smattering of rear-capped). This ratio ensure efficient traffic at the gas pump. If all cars were driver-capped...each station would have a side of the pump that was more popular...leading to odd and cumbersome u-turns in the parking lot.

That's my theory and I can't wait to discuss the details with my wife ;)

[TerriTorial]

Totally agree with you on the Coffee Crisp thing. That is my favourite bar of all time and I would be lost without it.

As far at them building you a bike, that is my husbands dream. We were Harley owners before the kids came along and hubby (me too) misses it terribly. Someday, I tell him, someday!

[e-belle]

So, I'm guessing you were smart enough to stop talking before you got to this part of the costume-search fantasy: http://otakubooty.bootyproject.org/images/members/17517.jpg

[Simon]

Moksha, part of the gas cap problem could be allayed by ensuring access to the pumps from both directions, though that's not always an options. A topic worthy of copious debate, to be sure!

Terri, the world is a richer place for the Coffee Crisp.

E-belle, I love you just a little more today for that. Thank you. If that were me in the Vader costume, my lightsabre would be pointing in the other direction.

[Mark]

Yummmm, Coffee Crisp. Looks good. I suppose I could find it online somewhere.

Hey, Terri, I've been to a couple of conventions here in the Dallas area, and there was never any white-hot costume like that.

I don't really care where my gas cap is; I'm just excited when I actually remember. I can't see it in the side mirrors on my car.

You know, in all his 3.5 years, Ben has never thought to pull up a chair for access to higher objects. He's pulled up his potty step-stool for access to a light switch, but only sporadically. Weird.

[deanna]

We have coffee crisps here in Michigan. :)

[Linda]

PD seems to like you, maybe he'll bequeath this to you... I say bequeath because, by the time you get the time to learn to ride, PD will be too old to use it (the suit)
http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6719/1909/1600/HPIM2179.jpg
What, did your brain plop into aboot five different pieces today or did you just wake up feeling random today?
Lord you have a gift for describing the actions of children. I'm in awe every time you show off like this. Bet that water tasted like champagne.
Hope you have a safe trip. Don't forget what I asked you...
Don't you love the way Mokker's brain works?

[Mark]

I just found the Coffee Crisp website, and it says Nestle unleased the candy bar across the U.S. in late July 2006.

Find it in your state by clicking here.

[Mark]

unleashed

[Moksha Gren]

Well, that settles it, Simon. Coffe Crisp is here. I'll keep an eye on the real estate down here for ya!

[marian]

Does anyone else find it horrifying that there is actually a Coffee-Crisp blog?

[Simon]

Mark, I bet that if you find yourself a Coffee Crisp to eat you'll start remembering where you gas cap is. Coffee Crisp has magical powers, dontcha know. Also, you do us all a great service by supplying that link for newbies to discover the wonder that is the Coffee Crisp. Thank you.

Deanna, you are a fortunate woman!

Linda, I would love your husband forever were that wonder to be bequeathed to me. Don't tease like that! And, uh, you'll have to remind me what it was that you asked me because I seem already to have forgotten.

Moksha, I'll need at least a 3-bedroom with (preferably) a finished basement. Wood burning fireplace would be nice, and a west-facing backyard to catch the sunsets is ideal. Thanks!

Marian, I don't think you've ever had one, else you'd not ask such a heretical question! Blasphemer!! (It's okay though, I still love you.)

[Linda]

Simon,
1) Tell Aaron I said hey (I knew you weren't paying attention!)
2) The perfect house is right down my street. Comes with house-call babysitting. We could yell across aboot four yards on our back porches while watching the sunset.
3) You buy the house, move in, the suit is yours.

[andi]

I know this is going to be an unpopular opinion, but I think Coffee Crisp is totally grim. I like coffee, but nothing coffee-flavored - go figure.
But if the thought of not having this chocolate bar keeps you from moving to the States, I'm all for it. I too like the Americans, but we Canadians have our good points too...

[Wainehobert]

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