Gord, Frankenstein and Murray

It always takes me a long time to get into the holiday spirit.  Every year.  My Decembers normally start out with a bit of an offensive funk to them that hangs around until after the middle of the month.  I give this as the reason for the fact that I never get Christmas cards out or, if I do, they arrive some time after the new year.

I have become increasingly disillusioned with the commercial aspect of Christmas.  I can't stand it.  Billboards, radio and tv commercials, keeping up with the Joneses.  Material oneupmanship seems to have usurped the podium when it comes to the Reason For The Season.  I can't for the life of me recall any of the presents I got last year, let alone the year before that.  Not that I wasn't appreciative -- just the glow of getting something from someone is such a short-lived high.

I can't stand the fact that just about every fucking Wal*Mart in the country is keeping its doors open 24 hours a day to cater to people who want to go shopping at three in the morning.  Holy enabler, Batman!

Christmas music assails me over the radio and mall PA systems and the aural deluge has middlin' success at best.  (Though a good Bing Crosby doing White Christmas is hard to resist no matter what the mood.)  I see people traipsing around in red and white Santa hats and my lips may flicker up in the hint of a smile, but I seem to battle it back down.  There are decorations all over the place at work, but the holly and candy canes, the miniature fake trees and dangling snowflakes, the frosted windows and the gutters festooned with blinking, multi-coloured lights aren't doing much to help me rail against an unwonted apathy.

We got our Christmas cards (most of them) out this week, so friends and family can enjoy them before New Year's.

I think it's the fatigue of the past few months piling up and weighing down.  Our little family has gotten so inured in our domestic routine that it seems to take a Herculean effort to stray significantly.  We went out for my birthday supper on Monday night and only after an unexpected enquiry on my cell phone did we realise we'd promised Grampa and Baba we'd show up for dinner at their place.  (Oh, shit...)  Must have been karmic justice that Dex puked up his ceasar salad and calamari just as we ordered some mango sorbet for dessert. 

We got our Christmas tree up on Sunday night but it still stands naked, bereft of lights and little hangie things.  It's a sad green thing, waiting there to be dressed.  We still haven't any lights up on the outside of the house, and won't bother at this point.  Maybe a couple of swirlies up the trunks of the bugle pine out front.

My brother's coming down from his most recent stint welding up north and may or may not hang out with us this weekend over the break.  I heard via Granny that, as of 8 PM last night, he'd been up for 36 hours straight helping out with an emergency: the rig lost some pipe down the hole they were drilling and needed to call in a second crew of 'fishermen' to get it out.  Word was he would probably be released to get some sleep by 6 this morning.  I hope he did.  Probably a little crabby(er) by that point.

I seem to be dwelling so much on what's not getting accomplished that the things that are present, right in front of me, suffer by association.  I'm terrified right now at the prospect of spring.  (As an example of what I'm dwelling on.)  There has been no poop collection from the backyard in over two months.  Winter came early and gave it to us up the ass at the end of October and with it brought along a shitload of snow in consistent layers such that you could probably take a cross section of our backyard and analyze the stratigraphy of poo deposits.

(Wow, from Santa to scatology all in one post...)

To reiterate, it takes a while for me to get into the holiday spirit each and every year, but this year seems to have had that funk extended a little.  I'm immensely looking forward to having my sister-in-law and niece (BANDA!) come stay this weekend.  We have a turkey to cook and there will be more Christmas cheer very, very soon.  But it's late this year and I don't like how it feels.

I can feel the encroachment of general holiday merriment.  It IS coming.  Tomorrow is the last day of work before the office closes for a week - and my mirth has never tarried later than the last day of work before Christmas - so Saturday should see me with a shit-eating grin and a big, huge hug for Sister and Niece (BANDA!).

God bless us, every one.

Comments

[Moksha Gren]

Wow, Si. This, your holiday post, may contain more profanity than any post I've read of yours. "Bless us, every fucking one" All that and dog poo, too!

I had a hard time finding Christmas this year too, then I found it...then I lost again. I'm hoping to track it down once more before Monday. Here's hoping for both of us.

[JuJuBee]

I too am keeping up a steady schedule of Find It...Lose It. Coincidentally (or not) the Finding It usually occurs after I've had a night of at least 4 hours of sleep. Much easier to deal with the holidays being shoved down your throat after some shuteye. Enjoy your vacation from work!

[Linda]

Hmmm. I feel it and then don't, hourly it seems. It's a fleeting thing, reality has a way of creeing in and overtaking the Magic. Try to block out all the faux crap. It's the loved ones and the memories attached to them that makes it for me. And the fact that our Savior gave his life so that we could enjoy one another. It's easier to remember that in our family, since LittleJuJu was born on His birthday. I think that if it were possible, a group hug would make us all feel way better.

[Linda]

And sometimes, reality actually creePs in if you're not careful...

[Tasha]

WHat is it this year? You are all not the first ones I've heard this from. I thought it was just our family, due to the move and chaos we find ourselves in. But then today, my parent came over, and we put a minimum amount of order into the chaos, found the tree box, and I am determined to get the damn thing up tomorrow!

Ho, ho, ho?

[wil]

Reading between the lines here, I sense the chief complaint of young parents everywhere: near-exhaustion. Sounds like it's time for some respite care for you guys, if you are to maintain your sanity. So the first time the grand-p's volunteer to take Dex or Tav for a long weekend, see if you can't farm the other one out to other interested friends or family members. Put the dogs in a kennel.

Then luxuriate in eight-hour sleep sessions, some unhurried, unaccompanied love-making, and getting to know one another again, as adults. See if you can't get your motors running for something more than the daily grind. The return of children and canines will be bittersweet, but appreciated.

That's my Christmas wish for you.

(And here I was going to point out that some of us really like it when Wal-Mart goes 24/7 because that allows those of us who work and live a second-shift existence to feel like we're members of the human race, too. The bastards DIDN'T open for extended hours here, however, so for the first time in many years, my wife and I have done no shopping except for six hours on Black Friday. Consequently, zero Christmas spirit in evidence. And no possibility between now and New Years.)

[Monique]

I can totally understand Simon; just be glad you don't work retail! Well, here's to another festival of greed!

[Mark]

I'm chiming in late here. I posted a couple times about how my Christmas spirit is at a high point this year. For myself, it's no different than usual -- I can't stand how commercial it's become. But for Ben, our first and only son, it's a great thing. Vicariously through him, I see it as a lot of fun, too. Sure, it's fleeting, because we have to deal with all the things he doesn't -- assholes in the family, money, time management, money. Oh, and money.

When I see how excited he was to open his presents from "Santa," I allowed myself to be immersed in the moment.