About a coffee table

Wil says, Maybe Amy better answer this one, but how the heck did YOU manage to latch on to such a beautiful, talented young woman?

Serendipity, my friend, serendipity.

I wrote about this last year some time but, going back to review, it comes across as too cute - though sincere - so I'll say again from scratch.

Amy and I ended up together by dint of frustration stemming from work and the retail therapy I used as a balm for my unwontedly aggravated state of mind.  I left work one afternoon in August of 2001 and drove directly to the canker sore of consumer excess that sits like an itchy scab near the outskirts of my home town: West Edmonton Mall.  It bugs you, but you can't stop going back to it.

I don't recall what pissed me off, but buying things made me feel better.  I was single and had some disposable income so went to get a new pair of sandals at a high-end outdoor retailers.  The Sales Chick who helped me was unassuming enough.  Incredibly competent, knew about and was interested in her job in a way that did not fit the mold of vacant-eyed, listless retail zombies.  (Later in our relationship Amy shared with me the fact that whenever they hired on part timers for holidays and big sales events, they were affectionately referred to as 'pylons'.)

Though I only went for sandals, this Sales Chick was so earnest in her approach that I was willing to try on a new set of cargo pants as well as some light-weight hiking shorts they'd just gotten in, you know, to see how they fit on a guy - no pressure.  (She's really very good.)  I left the store with all three purchases and a bemused expression that quickly morphed into intent.

I had a running partner with whom I discussed this Sales Chick a couple days later.  Used him as a sounding board.  I decided to go for it.  Her.

My phone call back to the store was poorly timed on her day off, so I went back in person.  (Since the return trip was several days after the phone call - of which Amy had since been informed - I was later told that if I had decided to call a second time that much later rather than show up in person I would have been summarily rebuffed.  Amy has certain expectations.)

As I strode into the store (after pacing outside for a full 10 minutes) I panicked at realising I had forgotten to look for a ring.  Seeing the Sales Chick, I scanned and, noting a naked left hand, approached.  In my 10 minutes of pacing outside the store I neglected to come up with an opening line.  This fact became clear after the two of us made eye contact, I proceeded towards her and she raised her eyebrows in polite expectation.

"I'm not here to buy anything," was the best I could come up with.  Thankfully, the Sales Chick was an astute observer of human nature and noted that neither did I have a bag in which I may have been returning something.  Ergo, I was there for her.  Of course.  I had inadvertently timed my visit just before her lunch break, on which she invited me to accompany her.

Seated in conversation she told me how she'd recently purchased an antique coffee table while in Canmore (a few hours away) but had a rental car at the time, not her truck, so was planning to drive back with her truck as soon as she could.  This, for me, was one of those rare occasions where all nine eight planets were aligned and opportunity was pounding on the door with a flaming battering ram while hordes of Uruk-Hai chanted "Grond!" in perfervid anticipation.

So bolstered, I politely informed the cute Sales Chick I would be driving to Canmore the very next weekend to run in a half marathon.  If it wasn't terribly presumptuous, could I offer to pick the table up for her after my race and drive it back?  She said yes, so I did.  That success under my belt, I then asked her out on a date.  It was early September and I asked her to accompany me to Oktoberfest -- at the end of October.  She said yes.  Again.

This was the only tricksy part of my approach since Oktoberfest was nearly two months away.  It wouldn't do but that we had to go on several other dates to fill in the intervening time.  Our first was to a downtown watering hole where we ate and drank little but talked for hours.  I asked to kiss her after walking her to her truck.  (Which is the only thing I'd change about that date; I should have just laid one on her.)

Everything just started from that.

(The coffee table is still with us, but has been relegated to the basement.  Our older son became prone to administer unintentional cranial drubbings and Amy got tired of explaining away bruises to concerned family members and medical professionals.  Bugs me all to hell that we live without a coffee table in our living room, but what're you gonna do?)

EDITED TO ADD:

Moksha makes a salient point in his accusatory comment, stating I didn't really answer the gist of the question.  Really, what made Amy interested in ME that I was able to keep her?

In any relationship like ours, there exist a vast array of little things that create the initial attraction and so foster the bond that, for us, drew us together in marriage and the family way.  The unifying feature for the two of us is trust.  Amy and I have both been deeply hurt in relationships.  In me, she saw the glimmer of possibility of someone with whom she could exercise that damaged trust and know that it would forever be safe in my grasp.  I treasure it.

Comments

[marian]

Very sweet story.

"...while hordes of Uruk-Hai chanted "Grond!" in perfervid anticipation."

Who could resist a guy like that?

[Moksha Gren]

Don't get me wrong here, Si, it's a great story and one I'm very glad you shared. But you only sorta answered the question. It wasn't "What made you first notice Amy?" She's a beautiful, intellegent woman...of course you noticed. Nor was it, "What's the story of you two meeting?" I think the implied focus of the question was "What made HER interested in YOU?" And hopefully she was more to say on that issue than, "He came back to the store and offered to pick up my coffee table...so I had to marry him." ;)

[Mark]

Quantifying this kind of thing is difficult. Were Amy to make a guest post, I'd be surprised if she could put it into words. Not because she hasn't the acuity, but because love has no printable definition. I like the idea of trust that Simon put out there. That's a big deal for folks who have reason not to trust people. Plus, come on, Simon ain't exactly an ugly guy. I'm sure her initial interest was at least in part based on looks, and of course once she scratched the surface she fell into the well that is Simon, and never wanted to climb back out.

Okay, that was bad. Sorry.

[Simon]

Marian, it's become well known in our household that Amy married me in SPITE of much of my geekery.

Moksha, there, are you happy? Edited on account of you. Ya goat.

Mark, thanks. Secretly, I love you too!

[Moksha Gren]

Yes, this goat is happy now. It took the comments to do it, but we've sussed out the real story behind the coffe table decoy. It was less tangible, sure...but infinitely more satisfying.

And secretly, I think we all love Mark. Now I just need to come up with a post that will sucker him into telling me how attractive he thinks I am. *Picture a goat batting its eyes*

[Mark]

I make it clear every day why it would be a bad idea for me to get drunk. I already say things as if completely inebriated.

Mokker - Post a pic and I'll let you know. I'm all about looks.

[Alvis]

Nobody loves Mark as much as I do. And I get to feel, um, see him in person!

Simon, that was a nice story. Ahh.....

[Linda]

OMG How did I miss this post? Thank goodness for a Friday night with nothing better to do than blog surf. What an incredibly wonderful meeting. Of course, it could have been much less than that, but Simon could make a mudpie sound like a Blackforest Cake. I hung on every word and felt like I was watching from behind the rubber plant by the fountain. Makes me love you guys (you 'n Amy) even more!
PS I LOVE when you and Moksha and Mark get like this :-))))))))))

[wil]

Serendipity is as good an answer as any.

I've been tending my wife's need to shop and get the heck out of Dodge for a bit, so I missed the initial publication. My thanks to Moksha for pressing the point home that we weren't looking for why you fixated on Amy -- anyone with half a brain and one functioning eye could see why. The real question is why she chose you and which gods you had to pleasure in the cosmos to obtain such a fortuitous boon.

[Archana]

Pardon me for breaking into this blog. But that was so sweet!