The internet is made of people

Attributed to Warren Ellis, and which I first read at Byzantium's Shores, this phrase contains more than a kernel of truth.

More than a mustard seed.

I dare say it's heftier than a nugget.

Verily, were I to grasp it with both hands and strain to lift it above my head, my back would be bowed and my legs begin to buckle.

In the five-ish years I've been interacting with people on the internet, I am increasingly amazed at the quality of the unexpected relationships that have blossomed.  I am a richer man for them.

This can be a dangerously mis-leading place in which to associate.  Some folks abide by the axiom: Eat, drink and be Mary.  To quote Ben Kenobi, "You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.  We must be cautious."  But still; the hive has many pockets that are anathema to scum and abjure villainy.

I have culled a few lines from one of my favourite pieces of literature ever as my pseudo-guide to interacting on Al Gore's internet:

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste...

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit.

...the world is full of trickery.  But let this not blind you to what virtue there is...

Be yourself.

I have fostered lifelong friendships via this seeming impersonal medium, and that still amazes me.  I have given and received gifts, shared between people who have never met.

A single line from a recent post spurred an entrepreneurial couple to send me a small book (and other sundries) on, of all things, an arctic sled dog.

My second son received a welcome package when he was born from a couple I've met twice in Real Life.

I've donated small amounts of money to select individuals because they have a PayPal button on their site, they seem like good, honest folk and I like to read what they have to type.

For Christmas a couple years ago I gave away a treasured trilogy of hardback books as a gift to a girl I've never met who lives in Sweden.  I elected to give her my own books because I knew I would spend an arm and a leg on shipping.  (They've since grown back.)  A year later I received the omnibus edition of that same trilogy, signed to me by the author who bought drinks that night.  Cool!

On a whim, a Peach of a gal sent my sons a set of Star Wars PEZ dispensers, which I am holding in trust for them until they're old enough to appreciate them.  They reside on my cabinet at work, guarded by a Black Knight and a Jester, themselves received through the serendipity of the internet.

It's not all about material stuff, by any means.

A somewhat analytical Email discussion of a series of books by Dorothy Dunnett had the fortuitous side effect of spawning what has become one of my dearest and most intimate friendships ever.

The internet is no different from nearly any other milieu in which our more corporeal selves can be and frequently are subjected to the whole gamut of stimuli - desirable and not.  In that regard one must exercise caution.  But let that not dissuade you from seeking out (or being sought by) and embracing interactions that engender open communication and fairly reek of potential.  Each is a small island shrouded in the fog of the more ubiquitous mediocrity that inundates one's view.

Look hard.

The internet is made of people.  And there's some good people out there.

Comments

[Paul]

I didn't get this one...

[TerriTorial]

Very well put Simon. I joined a group of women in 1999 all trying to have babies on a message board. It is now 2006, we all have our kids, potty training issues, hubby issues, all watching our children grow and the heartache/heartswelling that it entails. I love those women, though I have yet to meet one face to face. It's a beautiful thing...now if Oprah would just read my emails and pay for us all (50 of us) to meet, life would be grand!

[marian]

Ha! That Paul is so funny.

I love my incorporeal friendships, this one included.

[Paula]

Oh, what a wonderful post to start the day, Simon. You've expressed the significance, the strength of connection so beautifully. And the Royal Family figurines send their warmest regards to the Knight and the Jester.

[alec]

I was going to comment on this post until I was distracted by one of Territorial's comments. Now I just want to know how someone has a baby on a message board. ;)

(misinterpreted comments are another joy of the Internet, of course)

[rick]

The ethereal world of blogging seems to help foster what St Augustine considered the foundation of friendship and understanding:
"Conversations & jokes together, mutual rendering of good services, the reading together of sweetly phrased books, the sharing of nonsense and mutual attentions."

Would that make Simian Farmer a religious or a profane experience?

[Simon]

Rick, I'd be more than happy to be thought divertingly irreverent.

Therefore, if it's a religious experience for anyone, I would like to be called Irreverend Simon. I'd like to be called that anyway, but I don't think it'll fly.

[rick]

Always better irreverent than irrelevant.

So I'll go along with it. But would that be the Wrong Irreverend or the Right Irreverend Simon?

[Simon]

I will know I have succeeded when I am the Most Irreverend Simon.

[rick]

Dream big, my son.

[dee]

When I tell people of the friendships I have made via the internet many of them look at me and with a little tilt of their head they question it, "really??" It's a wonder that can only be explained by the internets anonymity. It allows the villainy through in droves but also the kindness and light that allows good people to show their true selves and both without fear.

[Mark]

I'm late to the fray on this one. Great post.

Often, when I'm talking, I say things like, "My friend in Canada said..." when I've never even met anyone face-to-face who is or was living in Canada.

At the office, though, I refrain from saying, "My friend in Canada whom I only know through the Internet."

You should have seen their faces when I told them that, on a business trip to North Carolina, I met with a hiking group I found on Meetup.com. They were surprised I wasn't killed.

They crack me up. They just don't know that they're missing.

[Suebob]

I met my sweetie online. My parents and friends were concerned that he might be an ax murderer. I relayed this concern to him.

When I went to his house for the first time, he had helpfully labeled one of his file drawers "Ax Murderin' Supplies."

[the Mater]

Simon, spot on! Brilliant post!

I came to Jenn's blog already having been online with a like-minded bunch of folks at a sci-fi forum. Our mutual admiration of one fine actor led to multiple start-ups of meaningful friendships. (Excuse the redundant alliterative "m"s this morning - I'm in a meditative mood.)

Connecting! That's what it's all about :>) So, so glad I connected with you!

[elizabeth]

I remember the first time I had to answer the questions the customs officer at the Toronto airport asked me about the reason for my visit.

How do you explain that you're going to meet friends you've never met?

Wasn't much easier the next time I flew up, when he asked where I met these friends I claimed were the reason for my visit. 'Online' sounds so....geeky. And naive.

Good thing BW'ers aren't raving lunatics! Well, not raving, anyway ;)

As a result of my online interactions and resultant get-togethers I've made some deeply valued friends and expanded not only my world view and knowledge, but my experience. And made some of the most cherished memories of my life.

[Linda]

I SO know this. Gawd, I couldn't imagine LWS (life without Simon) or any number of the people who would not be in my life if I'd never taken up residence in this sphere... People with small minds make small worlds for themselves.