canine conundrum

So here's the story in brief in case you've not been around here much:

My wife got a Jack Russell a few years back when I was working away from home during the week and surprised me with him one Thursday night as I stepped in the door at 11 PM from a five hour drive.  She attempted to endear him to me by suggesting the name Jango Fett, after the eponymous bounty hunter from the Star Wars prequel trilogy.  Once we rectified the sleeping with us under the covers phase of our little love-hate triangle, things sort of settled down to a generally acceptable level of - if not actual affection - then at least grudging acceptance of existence.

Two years later we agreed (me in the midst of a complete mental lapse) to get a Boxer, ostensibly as a companion for Jango.  Then Amy got pregnant with Tavish.  And she was sick and on the couch and fending for our toddler for nine months.  Training for the Boxer was laughable.  In the same way as taking music classes in high school is laughable when you never practise and yet somehow expect the talent to magically coalesce.  A sort of not at all funny and you've really gotta shake your head kind of laughable.

So to minimise (for one can NEVER fully eliminate) the amount of dog doo and other emissions with which we frequently found our floors indecorously, and liberally, squirted, Farley (the Boxer) was relegated to her kennel in the basement and Jango permitted the bench at the foot of the bed.

He still usurps my spot the INSTANT I get out for my shower in the mornings, but I've since learned (still learning) to pick my battles.

The onset of spring this year and the accompanying rain and mud and filthy paws that had to be washed, like, 73 times a day led to the doggie door being closed at night.  Which led to Jango 'going' on the floor by the back door every night.  Which led to me stomping around in a high dudgeon muttering various curses, maledictions and imprecations of a morning as I grabbed handfuls of paper towel and the Nature's Miracle pet de-odourizer that's 15 bucks a bottle. 

Which led to Jango getting his own, smaller, kennel in the same room right beside Farley's.

Recently, my wife called me at work to let me know that when she went to retrieve the dogs one morning, Jango was shaking, had his eyes crusted shut and had shat himself.  Apparently, after three years of coddling on the Masters' bed, being relegated to a relative dungeon in the dark didn't do much for his already fragile constitution.  But he got a good bath out of the deal.

So now I'm not too sure what, exactly, to do.

Please don't mistake me.  I really do like dogs.  Ceteris paribus, they are vastly superior pets to cats.  If - and this is a big if; a monstrous IF - one has the time to commit to them.  It really is like taking a toddler into your house.  Some indication of the time we have had for them is evinced by the lamentable truth that neither of our dogs got out for a walk - didn't leave the confines of our property line - for the space of time encapsulated by the months of November 2005 through March 2006.  Something in excess of four months.

I can hear some of the gasps of horror from here.

Boxers and Jacks are very high energy dogs, which energy, in our case, has found other outlets in chewing and escaping respectively.  Nothing stuffed, plastic or suspected of being comestible is nearly safe around Farley.  And we have spent several hundred dollars trying to Houdini-proof our back fence for the white runt.  As of this past weekend, with chicken wire, patio blocks, large rocks and various bits of firewood, I THINK I have all the escape routes shored up.  If he gets out again, even Amy has said that the pound can have him.

I think what we'll do is keep Jango in his kennel, but in our bedroom.  And I've been trying to get up consistently at 5 AM to walk the dogs, which I managed for almost two weeks straight; but a noted lack of much incentive stemming from a similar dearth of affection towards the dogs has seen our morning rounds somewhat curtailed.

So, a piece of advice: if you have a toddler and a pregnant wife and/or newborn babe in the house, don't get a dog.

For the sake of the dog.

Comments

[wil]

Simon, you've got a lot on your plate, so I'm going to spare the criticism and merely offer some suggestions.

Now that frost has left the ground, a buried "invisible" electric fence and collar system, about a foot inside of the perimeter yard fence, may be the interim solution to the houdini act.

I know money doesn't grow on trees, but if you intend to keep the boxer, hire a trainer and get him some basic obedience training NOW. Likewise the hyperactive runt, er, terrier, if you can afford it AND intend on keeping the mutt.

Dogs are like toddlers in another way -- they thrive on routine. They really must be fed and watered at the same time every day. Discontinue access to food 30 minutes after putting it down; one hour later remove access to water (assuming you are feeding AM & PM). Final "walkies" just before you go to bed, then put them in their crates for the night. While Farley's gaseous emmisions are probably what got him banished to the basement, the fact of the matter is that dogs are pack animals and should not be excluded from access to the "Alpha & Omega" -- you and your lovely bride/sex kitten. Restore the crates to your bedroom, start administering "Beano" and make sure to take them out as soon as you've performed your own trip to the potty in the AM, before anything else is undertaken. The morning period should be about 20 minutes long for a dog Farley's size -- they have the same triple waves of peristalsis that humans have. As far as I am concerns, that wriggling, yapping mass if meat is in constant peristalsis, but millions seem to disagee with me...

Good luck. The time is rapidly approaching (check that -- it's here) where you need to hunt up a "dog park" and schedule a weekly, or (horrors!) bi-weekly visit with the mutts to allow them some serious "I am dog, here me roar" time. Or find them new homes, for the sake of all involved.

[Simon]

Wil,

Both dogs have had rudimentary training and show it, when we focus our attention on them. Then, they are well-behaved and yield to the Alpha. And valid points regarding the need for adherence to routine. The thing is that so much of our enery is focused on the routine we've deemed essential for the boys that the dogs are left to scrounge whatever scraps of routine are left. Not an excuse, just the way it is.

[Mark]

This situation would have me near the boiling point; I admire you (and Amy) for hanging in there as long as you have. It's things like this that make us know we'll wait until Ben's older to get another dog, once Lexie's gone. We treasure her and she's been a loyal friend for 13 years, but the human little one has to take priority, period.

[marian]

That wil seems like a real regular guy.

Having been there done that, with two dogs and only one toddler, our solution was ultimately to find new homes for the dogs. We just couldn't do it. Someone, meaning the dogs, was always getting shortchanged in the chaos. Dogs need attention, they need to run, they need to work and feel necessary to the household. Our particular child was so high maintenance that there was nothing left over in us to give them that.

I hope you're able to find a good solution.

[Simon]

Mark - I passed the boiling point a while ago. I'm just not sure how much water is left in the kettle.

The bad thing here is the timing. Kids into a house with established dogs wouldn't have been so bad (as was the case with Jango); nor dogs into a house with established kids. Taking on both, brand new, at the same time was a very bad idea.

Marian - we seem to have similar sentiments. I pity the dogs more than anything else, which quickly transforms to active frustration more often than not.

[Sheryl]

Well I feel bad for the four of you, it sounds like a stressful domestic situation for everyone. If I were you, I'd find a kid in your neighborhood who could walk the dogs. A tired JRT is a good JRT.

Love the bew banner

[TerriTorial]

Well thank you..I am showing this to my husband. If I can't potty train my almost 3 year old, I have no luck with a dog!

[wil]

It's a tough situation, Simon. Didn't mean to sound disparaging -- when my kids were very little we decided to hold off on new dogs until they were older (my youngest is 36, btw). Because of obligations to the University, we were living in the city, so I parked my beloved German Shepherd with my brother in the country for a couple of years until nappies were no longer an issue and toddlers could fend off unwanted puppy licks for themselves without screams and tears.

It was the best solution for all of us at the time.

Doesn't your brother live alone? ;)

[Simon]

It is a bit of a sticky wicket, Wil. Puppy licks are the order of the day around here, for both kids, and are more giggle-inducing than anything. The brother's not an option, having just moved in to his own house; besides which, my wife doesn't want to see them leave. And you sounded more concerned than disparaging, so no umbrage there at all. A solution of some sort will certainly coalesce sometime.

[Baba Roxy]

Hey - not going to give you any advice or negative comments - you got a pile of that,BUT CATS ARE VERY COOL !!! :-)

[ljh]

yikes. we have two dogs, no kids, so my comments will likely not be much help. but our dogs are very high-energy, too--a springer mix and a border collie mix. a fenced yard helps a lot. weekly visits to the dog park, even for 45 minutes of flat-out running, helps, too.

it sounds like jango got used to the doggy door option for midnight pees. he could just as easily learn to hold it all night (most dogs do; ours do) and then he wouldn't have to be crated each night. that might be better for his mental health, and yours...

whatever you do, ignore the person who recommended cats!!!! they are evil!!! they must not be listened to!!!!!