The penis mightier

Words are my weapon of choice. 

I had originally considered pistols at dawn, but a great, sucking chest wound is sartorially cumbersome. 

And functioning lightsabres are still, lamentably, scientifically impossible.

The awkward and inept flailings to which the English language is frequently subjected sometimes drives me near to grief at the thought that the tool most often used to communicate is wielded so poorly by so many.

Were language a household VCR, I imagine that those of most would still be blinking 12:00.

I especially love English (if I can get away with saying this, not speaking any other language with anything approaching fluency) since it lends itself better than any other to neologisms that can be readily adopted and easily understood.  If humans evolved as quickly as our language has done, we'd all be gods by now.  Or at least some sort of meta-deity capable of flicking his thumb to produce a flame and ignite his own farts at parties.

One of the ways I strive to appease my thirst as a philomath is via the utilisation and expansion of my vocabulary.  I write here to practise the application of what skills I already have, which I attempt to bolster with new learnings and a wider array of words at my disposal.  More bullets for the magasine so I can shoot my mouth off with increasing eloquence.  Or at least give the semblance of eloquence.  Semblaquence?

There's a balance, of course, between a well-chosen word that adds weight to an intended sentiment or just makes one sound like a fustian fop.  I'm still walking the fence and sometimes find that I've inadvertently (or intentionally) leapt liberally over to one side or the other, tucking my legs up and shouting, "Cannonball!" as I plummet.  So long as I clamber back up to a happy medium and keep on keepin' on, I figger I'm doing okay.

I subscribe to a word-a-day Email that builds my vocabulary with some less frequently used English gems.  I'm happy to say that I know most of them when they hit my inbox.  A product of being a voracious reader since Dick and Jane and Spot first sparked my literary esurience.  But those that are new to me, or which I can't quite use comfortably in context, are immediately saved for future reference and I'll surreptitiously slip another bullet into my bandolier.

I ignore the ones that I know will never find their way into a conversation or piece of writing - blanks, if you will - but the rest get stored away and reviewed regularly.  If I can slip 'quondam' into a conversation, there's no way that day's been a total write-off, no matter what else transpired.  Small things.

Just because I can, here's the list.  I add to it, on average, once or twice a week.

• a priori: Proceeding from a known or assumed cause to a necessarily related effect; deductive.
• abnegate: refuse or deny oneself; also, to give up (rights, claims, etc.).
• abstemious: temperate; abstinent; refraining from indulgence.
• amative: pertaining to or disposed to love.
• ameliorate: to make or grow better.
• apothegm: a short, witty, and instructive saying.
• apposite: of striking appropriateness and relevance.
• assiduous: constant in application or attention.
• aubade: a song greeting the dawn.
• badinage: light, playful talk.
• beneficence: the practice of doing good.
• blandishment: flattering speech or action.
• camarilla: a group of secret and often scheming advisers.
• canard: an unfounded or false, deliberately misleading story.
• capacious: able to contain much
• captious: Marked by a disposition to find and point out trivial faults
• circumlocution: the use of many words to express an idea that might be expressed by few.
• comity: a state of mutual harmony, friendship, and respect.
• concomitant: accompanying; attending.
• consanguineous: related by blood; descended from the same ancestor.
• concupiscence: lust.
• contumely: Rudeness or contempt arising from arrogance; insolence.
• crepitate: to fart.
• crepuscular: pertaining to twilight.
• cynosure: a center of attention.
• deracinate:  to displace from one's native or accustomed environment.
• didactic:  inclined to teach or moralize excessively.
• dilatory: given to, or marked by, procrastination or delay.
• edacious: given to eating.
• epicurean: devoted to the pursuit of sensual pleasure, especially to the enjoyment of good food and comfort.
• epigone: an inferior imitator.
• ersatz: being a substitute or imitation.
• esurient: hungry; greedy.
• evanescent: fleeting
• excoriate: to express strong disapproval of; also, to flay.
• exigent: requiring immediate aid or action; also, demanding.
• exegete: one who explains or interprets difficult parts of written works.
• expatiate: to speak or write at length.
• fecund(ity): able to produce a lot of crops, fruit, babies, young animals, etc:fecund nature/soil
• froward: stubbornly contrary and disobedient; obstinate.
• fustian: pompous or pretentious language.
• garrulous: talkative; also, wordy.
• gastronome: a lover of good food and drink.
• gaucherie: a socially awkward or tactless act; also, lack of tact.
• gewgaw: a trinket; a bauble.
• hegemony: the predominant influence, as of a state, region, or group, over another or others.
• hirsute: covered with hair or bristles.
• ineffable: incapable of being expressed.
• inchoate: partly but not fully in existence or operation.
• ineluctable: impossible to avoid or evade.
• insouciance: Blithe lack of concern; nonchalance.
• invidious: tending to provoke envy or ill will.
• jocund: light-hearted; mirthful.
• laconic: using or marked by the use of a minimum of words.
• lassitude: lack of vitality or energy.
• leitmotif: A melodic passage or phrase, especially in Wagnerian opera, associated with a specific character, situation, or element. A dominant and recurring theme, as in a novel.
• lineament: a distinguishing or characteristic feature.
• manse: a large and imposing residence.
• martinet: a strict disciplinarian.
• mawkish: sickly or excessively sentimental.
• micturate: to urinate.
• neologism: a new word, expression or usage.
• nostrum: a questionable remedy.
• nugatory: Of little or no importance; trifling.
• numinous: spiritual; holy.
• odium: intense hatred or dislike.
• panacea: A remedy for all diseases, evils, or difficulties; a cure-all.
• pari passu: at an equal pace or rate.
• parlous: fraught with danger; hazardous.
• parvenu: an upstart; one newly risen in class or economic status.
• parsimonious: frugal to excess.
• pedagogue: one who instructs in a pedantic or dogmatic manner.
• penumbra: A partial shadow, as in an eclipse, between regions of complete shadow and complete illumination.
• perfidy: an act of deliberate betrayal
• philomath: a lover of learning; a scholar.
• plebeian:  unrefined or coarse in nature or manner; common or vulgar.
• probity: complete and confirmed integrity.
• propinquity: nearness.
• propitious: presenting favorable circumstances.
• prurient: inordinately interested in matters of sex; lascivious.
• pugnacious: combative; quarrelsome.
• puissant: powerful.
• puritanical: rigorous in religious observance; marked by stern morality.
• quiddity: the essence or nature of a thing.
• quondam: That once was; former: “the quondam drunkard, now perfectly sober”
• recondite: difficult to understand.
• rubicund: inclining to redness; ruddy.
• rusticate: to go or send to the country.
• schadenfreude: a malicious satisfaction in the misfortunes of others.
• scion: a descendant; an heir.
• sesquipedalian: (of words) long; having many syllables.
• sinecure: an office or position that involves little work or responsibility.
• sine qua non: an indispensable thing.
• somniferous: causing or inducing sleep.
• surfeit: To feed or supply to excess, satiety, or disgust.
• susurrus: a whispering or rustling sound.
• sybarite: a person devoted to luxury and pleasure.
• tautology: needless repetition of the same sense in different words; redundancy.
• temerarious: reckless; rash.
• titivate: to smarten up; to spruce.
• truculent: fierce; savage; ferocious.
• tumid: swollen; bulging; also, bombastic.
• unctuous: marked by a false or smug earnestness or agreeableness
• venial: capable of being forgiven; excusable
• VERB. SAP.: is a Latin abbreviation for verbum satis sapienti, meaning "a hint is enough to the wise."
• vicissitude: a change in condition or fortune.
• voluptuary: a person devoted to luxury and the gratification of sensual appetites.

Comments

[Linda]

Simon, as an elocutionist, I know nary a soul to rival you. Your lexicographic flair, coupled with your terrifyingly keen wit and at times, copious humor just simply add up to one REALLY GREAT READ. (please proofread this, I was talking out my butt.) BUT! You gave me a new hobby. I'm going to spend all my free time (HA!) writing you a story using your list. One day, I'll make you proud.

[Paul]

Huh?

[rick]

"...it was his delight, in the old phrase dear to (him), to 'be somewhat at large, and have ornature'."
Robertson Davies

Semblaquence, indeed. It's a delight to sit down with a mug of tea just about every morning and see what new lines you've spun out, Simon. And to find gems like the paronomasia of this entry's title.

[Simon]

Rick, you made me look up paronomasia. I've updated my list thanks to you.

The post title, by the way, is an oblique reference to one of my favourite Saturday Night Live skits where "Sean Connery" was a guest on Jeopardy and bollocksed-up nearly every category title.

I don't know if bollocksed is a real word, but it's topical to this post at the very least.

[marian]

My tumid mind is titivated.

I think I'm a gonna git me some new words, too. Mines is just about all used up!

[rick]

Simon, I remember that SNL skit, too; who wouldn't want to be able to growl out paronomasial nonsense in a Connery-esque burr?

Yup, you gotta love the English language. Even fustian bollocksed-up nugatory bits like paronomasia that merely end up as a large caliber brassy blank in the ol' bandolier.

Ever see John Malkovich's "The moon mocks me" SNL bit?

[Simon]

No, I've never seen that sketch, having eschewed SNL since it pretty much sucks 95% of the time. The gems just aren't worth wading through the dross, if I can cross my mineral and metal metaphors there.

I just adore John Malkovich though. In a platonic sort of way. Being John Malkovich is a favourite movie of mine.

[rick]

Or as Karl Rove recently said about the new White House chief of staff, "I love him. In an entirely appropriate sort of way."

[Mark]

I already used "mired in the morass" today, so I can't use that again. I'll juxtapose these instead: cunning linguist (careful on that one).

That term gets lots of Google hits now, but I first heard it in a Deep Purple song as a teenager. I always have loved clever use of the English language.

Alas, I'm using my blog to overcome the years of writing for a newspaper, where they tend to regard linguistic largesse as loquacious (got the latter in high school from Reader's Digest's "It Pays to Increase Your Word Power.")

Paronomasia was in The Sage's English Dictionary, by the way. It's a good resource if you ever are not quite sure you're using a word correctly.

[Lynn]

For several years I've been hoping for an opportunity to casually use the word "defenestration" in ordinary conversation.

[Tina]

Sean Connery couldn't have said it better, Simon! Thanks for teaching me something today. Since my Reader's Digest subscription days have long since expired, I needed a bit of an update. Tina