THE LIST

I wanted to have some place to sort all my posts.  A huge morass of virtual viscera, floating about all unconfined-like, is most unseemly.

Below are links to most of my posts - those that I think didn't suck - in a few categories.  Newest at the top of each header.  I still have some work to do linking the older ones.

My personal favourites are emboldenated.

CAVEAT: it's long.

Reference
newest: 31-Aug-2006
oldest:  29-Sep-2004

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Real Life

• Children of the corn
• Pent up fingertips
• More Dexicon
• Pre-dawn flailings
• Last holiday of the year, day seven
• Last holiday of the year, day five
• Last holiday of the year, day four
• Jesus built my hotrod
• Love that new car smell
• Three years
• Smrt
• Nuptial hijinks
• The eyes have it
• Little boys don't lie
• This is your brain on poo
• Urine nation
• Ask and you shall receive...
• Bozo drivers
• Running to stand still
• Potty like it's 1999
• Evolution of friendship
• Out of the mouths of little boys
• Endearing
• Foetus 2.0, fourth trimester report
• Canine conumdrum
• Boobies in the kye with Decka
• Post-op
• An old joke
• Baby steps and stuff
• Brief weekend summary
• This is NOT spinal tap
• S - M - R - T
• Canis Familiaris (sentimentalicus)
• The Joy of Sect
• She can't hardly wait
• Inconsiderate bad man
• The ersatz worshipers
• Denouement
• Who the hell's driving my karma, anyway?
• More name stuff
• Up for grabs
• The birthin' blues trifecta
• I, for one, welcome our new Domestic Overlord
• All systems GO for...
  Operation: S.P.A.W.N.
  (Small Person Approaches Wondrous Nascency)
• Prelude IV
• Prelude III
• Prelude II
• Prelude
• Internal minutiae
• "Declan, don't laugh at your dad; he's wearing a dress."
• Cleaning for Jesus
• A note on semantics
• "Gunka"
• The Dilbert Syndrome... with haggis!
• The Toddler Transfer
• Trust
• Bad Dad V
• T-minus two months
• Do-It-Yourself Domestic God
• Hush little baby, don't say a word...
• Acceptable levels of squalour
• The W.C. Fields of Canis familiaris
• Foetus 2.0, Second Trimester Report
• I could do nothing more than stand there, dumbfounded
• Mountains of minutiae
• The Ebbles
• The obvious punchline
• Braggadocio
• Whither went my infant?
• To sleep, perchance to... sleep
• So help me, Dog!
• Irritation and placation
• Bad Dad IV
• A little equivocation
• The good son
• I am Declan, of Borg
• Dichotomy
• Sweet Lord Jesus, keep him AWAY from the power tools!
• Foetus 2.0, First Trimester Report
• Operation: Covert Comestibles
• An affable veneer
• Vultures, the lot of 'em!
• Natural allies
• Sometimes you think you're gonna get it...
• Boys and dogs
• Death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth!
• Bad Dad III
• A twinge of conscience
• Personal Finance 101
• Remind me again why we did this?
• Unsolicited advice about boys
• Pining for the fjords
• So close I can taste it
• Comic timing
• Falling in Smiths Falls
• Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!
• The birthday boy
• I am your father
• As giddy as a little girl
• Bad Dad II
• Why I'm increasingly fond of my son
• When the boy's away...
• What's that Lassie?  Simon's lost his mind?  Again?
• Things I've learned from my son
• Wonderful invention
• Observations in a bar
• Are you talkin' to me?!
• Bad Dad
• Communication
• A random act of Christmas
• Where angels fear to tread
• Useless mutt
• You down with entropy?
• In defense of men everywhere
• Oktoberfest to Rocktoberfest
• Oh, fortunate me!
• Old friends
• It hurts, my precious!
• Simon says... (The very first post on Simian Farmer)

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Don't blog about work

• Random, non-kissing, encounter
• How to stand out in a crowd
• My surreal life
• Lots and lots of little black circles
• Most Scottish cuisine is based on a dare
• Break out the emergency pants!
• Thanks, Jack
• Surreal... but yummy!
• 3.5% irate
• Nothing but net
• Deincentivized
• Euphemism at its best
• fare thee well
• Another sombre day
• Warm fuzzy
• Awkward
• Fond farewell
• Adieu
• Random thoughts
• Where's the 'any' key?
• A paucity of follicles
• The best laid plans...
• Stirrings of life
• Jack's back

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Conversations / Compositions

• Tactful silence
• Simian Farmer parent hacks
• Anticipation is the best sauce
• Humpday conversational
• Chocolate obloquy
• Mouthes of babes
• A conversation from work...
• Fibonacci poetry
• How NOT to impress your husband
• So proud I could pee my pants
• Relativity
• Dear Mother Nature
• Palaver with Providence
• A Christmas recap
  And a little new year too
  Featuring haiku!
• Wash that mouth out!
• Why I go to work every day
• Maybe. If you're good
• ...and the truth will set you free
• The good husband
• Broken flow
• Dishin' with Deus
• Uh, which bone is that?
• If wishes were like dishes
• Harley wisdom
• Totally cool
• Empathetic boy
• Jivin' with Jehovah
• Waving proudly
• Lascivious limericks
• Oh Amy, whither didst thou goest?
• Random letter to son
• This day Jek Porkins dies
• Religious debate, Part 2
• Religious debate, Part 1
• The MAN of the house
• Last two nights' conversations
• A haiku posting
• Mental health
• Cowboy poetry?
• Rule of thumb

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Introspective

• Isolation
• Simple concept
• Restraint
• Abcess makes the heart grow fungus
• Time in a bottle
• The internet is made of people
• Two black flies
• Symbolism
• The right to bare arms
• The tragedy of little boys
• Beer and hot wings
• Red, white and biased
• The penis mightier
• An economy of candle wax
• Unexpected realisation
• I wanna be The Karate Kid
• I love her eyes
• Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow
• Most of the time
• Hot chocolate
• Monoga... what?
• The Holy Catholic Ice Cream Cone
• In contemplation of a cookie
• Two years of bliss
• Mislike me not for my complexion
• Still not a fan...
• Cold feet on the basement floor
• Eschewing religious dogma
• Matter will always matter
• Clutter
• The 'fun' in fundamentalism
• Transmogrifier
• Adjustment
• I said, "Brrr... it's cold in here!"
• And on the 2,190,000th day...

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Retrospective

• Mama's boy
• Being surpassed
• Proletariat Plodding, Part 4
• Proletariat Plodding, Part 3
• Proletariat Plodding, Part 2
• Proletariat Plodding, Part 1
• The China Diary (final entry)
• The China Diary (9 of 10)
• Chocolate milk
• The China Diary (8 of 10)
• The China Diary (7 of 10)
• The China Diary (6 of 10)
• The China Diary (5 of 10)
• The China Diary (4 of 10)
• The China Diary (3 of 10)
• The China Diary (2 of 10)
• The China Diary (1 of 10)
• The Great Wall
• Eviscerating the Simian
• I remember doing the underduck
• Farmball: a retrospective
• Hot for teacher
• The one that got away
• Honey, where's my super suit?
• Plumbing the depths
• Strange and unexpected, then strange again
• What was I thinking... ?
• O brother, where art thou?
• Canadians & Americans
• Curmudgeons & Dragons
• Sufferin' succotash

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Geekery

• Thermodynamaniac
• TK-421, why aren't you at your post?!
• Instant messaging free verse poetry
• And the hits just keep on comin'!!
• The final medal round
• Star Wars Valentine
• Why my wife totally rocks: Reason 934
• You're going to do what with the who now?
• Alpha Bytes
• µn£34$h 7h3 1nn3r 933|{
• I laughed so hard...
  and then I gave my lucky d20 a big ol' hug
• On snot and Newton's First Law of Motion
• Geek dad
• The Mountain Dew table
• Tower of Babel
• Hierarchy...
• A dearth of Darth
• All I said was, "That piece of halibut was good enough for Jehovah!"
• The Sidious solution
• Sith happens
• Star Wars Minutiae
• The quotable Star Wars
• E = mc² (Geek post alert)
• 3263827
• A rather exhaustive list
• Useful Latin phrases
• The Cuddly Menace
• Fun with license plates
• Boredom
• Revenge of the This

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Video Posts

• Just a little eerie
• Geekle, geekle
• Le pomme
• Long weekend highlights
• Toes and hose
• Uncle Butt-dude
• Hi; hi boobies -- weet, weet!
• He could go all the way!
• The best medicine
• That's no way to stage a coo!
• Ready?  Goooooo!
• ...and party ev-e-ry day
• Bulldozer
• Good morning, Mr. Hiccups!
• George Orwell eat your heart out
• Dex's dance party redux
• The unbearable cuteness of being
• Byte o' Life: Hometown Hoedown
• Byte o' Life: Exxes and Ohs
• 15 seconds: Staring contest
• 15 seconds: Tub time
• 15 seconds: Stop... mittie time!
• 15 seconds: Kiss and a yawn
• 15 seconds: Closing ceremonies
• 15 seconds: Shake yer bouti
• 15 seconds: Multi-tasker
• 15 seconds: Death by Chocolate
• 15 seconds: Toe food
• 15 seconds: Spastik Jack
• 15 seconds: Tub Time
• That groin ain't gonna support itself

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Picture Posts

• It's not always smiles...
• Weekend in the garden of good and evil
• Art in the face of derision
• More filial photography
• Morning stroll
• Mother's Day chez Fraser
• Par -- Tay
• Have a magical time!
• Treasure (YAR!)
• The saddest little boy in the whole, wide world
• The first month, in pictures
• Like father, like son
• Oilpatch punctuation
• Snow day picture post
• Two week retrospective
• Random gratuitousness
• Saturday is haircut day!!
• Christmas in a nutshell (roasting on an open fire)
• Meeting the Man
• The many faces of Declan
• 18 (months) and life to go
• Stop with the gratuity!
• A graduation of sorts
• No children were harmed in the taking of this photograph
• Second last day of summer
• Terrible, horrible bubbles
• Hopelessly outgunned in the battle against cute
• Dog days of summer
• Especially the froufy ones
• Gotta get out more...
• A brief post in pictures
• S.O.A.P.
• C-eh?-N-eh?-D-eh?
• Chuck you Farley

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Miscellany

• Make pursuit a pleasure
• What you should do each morning
• Dungeons & Dragons political humour
• A trinity of... things
• A partial refutation of men's secrets
• A fetish of sorts
• Quick!!  Everybody look busy!
• For the record:
• A list of acceptable dogs
• A struggle
• Wow, oil sure is pricey these days, eh?
• Blog filler
• Pet Peeves (part 4)
• New Favourite Quote
• Did you know that, in French, 'meme' means 'same'?
• Reversal of fortune
• New favourite quote
• Better than formaldehyde
• Attention Getters Anonymous
• Putting the 'idiot' back in idiosyncracy
• How to get pretty girls to stare at your crotch
• Seven Things
• Helen Keller's favourite colour
• Oktoberfest, baby!!
• The Five Keys
• Be thou virtuous
• It's pronounced 'zed', okay?
• First anniversary.
  Let's do some serious navel gazing!
• 45 virgins and a pelican
• No scurvy herrrre!!!
• Anonymity
• Cheese eating surrender monkeys
• Random stuff about me
• 25 things
• What if...
• A waffle is like a pancake with syrup traps
• Monday funny
• Glutton for punishment
• 10 things I have done that you probably haven't
• Three things about me:
• Mental meandering

Comments

[Linda]

I'm putting this in Favorites for a rainy day or when I need a literary lift...
Easter... resurrect. Good one.

(Does your toolbar say "Favourites"?)

[Simon]

Actually, since I use FIREFOX, as any good surfer should, my toolbar says "Bookmarks".

Though when I absolutely HAVE to use Internet Exploder, it still says "Favorites". No U.

[Mark]

Nice guide. I'll bookmark this and put it in my favourites, but not my favorites.

[Alec]

OK, I took the "Simon Firefox Challenge" and I have to say, I don't know if I'll ever go back...and not just because it sounds like "Firefly."

You've changed my life yet again.

-Alec

[marian]

I found a great deal of similarity between the cast of "Who's supporting his groin?" and Declan in his fine plastic bucket hat. Somehow.

Bookmarking this for a rainy day!

[Mark]

I'm surprised Typepad does not allow you to make your own categories and still take advantage of the blog engine. Maybe it's time we got you over on the WordPress team. Alvis and I easily got it running for ourselves. The installation is simple, and all you have to have is a host for your site (that allows php and mySQL). wordpress.org

[Simon]

Ah, but I CAN make as many of my own categories as I want. The thing is, I want to see ALL my posts sorted the way I have them here. I can be very anal retentive sometimes. But not quite in a (Bum + Coal = Diamond) sort of way.

[Mark]

Bum + Coal = Neil Diamond.

That makes no sense, but I had to type it.