Instant messaging free verse poetry

I have eschewed ever getting into that whole IM thing.

If I have something of an expository nature to say, you can expect an Email.  And I am no stranger to circumlocution; word count when I hit send to a friend earlier this week topped 2100.  Otherwise, a phone call will do nicely.  Thus, I have never had an instant messaging client on my computer.  My Email client, Gmail, has a built in chat feature however.

It's best not to leave your status defaulted to 'available' while away from the computer or you might find a rather esoteric conversation evolving in your absence over the course of a few days.

Good thing Gmail is sort of like Jesus in the most important way: it saves.

This conversation transpired over the course of four days in February when I neglected to turn my status off.  I've made my friend's text pink because I know he's comfortable with his masculinity.

(I didn't even have to change any names to establish anonymity.  Sometimes the people I know strike me as odd.  I mean, I've always known that I am.  I mean, that IM.)

Feb 9

hello
maybe this is your work computer i'm talking to.
it's too late for you to be at work
you should be home
chillin
eatin ice cream, or cracker jacks, or perhaps even a truffle
that's decadent
but you deserve it simon
your work computer is not advanced enough to reply in your stead
that's probably a good thing
imagine the damage it could do to your reputation
i hope you find this conversation
or maybe your computer can archive it
and when it does gains sentience it can remember me kindly
and not kill me, like in Terminator
Terminator is a cool movie
"Are you Sarah Connor?" KABOOOOOOOM!
what's not to love?
ok, I'm going now
I hope you enjoyed you ice cream
bye

Feb 10

hello right back
my computer seems not to have gained
sentience
while I was home for the evening
which is a good thing
though not for my reputatation
I mean really
how much more harm can be done unto it
???
It was popcorn, by the way
we finished off the ice cream a couple days ago
and by 'we' I mean 'me'
the popcorn was sprinkled with dill pickle seasoning
since it is both my favourite and Amy's too
we ate it while watching the new CSI
though I normally hate TV
(not your wife, by the way, I like her)
and not to be argumentative
but I prefer Terminator 2
because
liquid metal is COOL!

Feb 11

you actually there?
nope.
ah well
Robin of Lox is dropping by today.
i'll tell him you said hi
and then I'll tell him you said to go jump in a lake
and then he'll probably punch me
and then i
and then i'll owe you a punch
with interest
hah hah
sucker....

Feb 14

Here now
though not when you sent the last message
that's okay though
this is more fun
I read about the Lox's visit on TV's journal
sounds like you guys had a fun time
Hope you didn't say that I said to go jump in a lake
it would be frozen anyway and he probably wouldn't
break the surface of the ice
unless he's put on a LOT of weight
and you'd best not mention that to him
or else he may just want to punch me
and then I'll blame you.
sucker.

You see?  That's why I don't IM.

Comments

[Paul]

TV has a journal?

[Paul]

Ah, found it.

[Jim (of Brazil)]

The most disturbing thing about IM to me is that you never have a chance to say "goodbye". I mean, you **can** say goodbye, but you know the person will still be there, and they know you are still there. So usually, you just stop chatting, and hope the other person does too. Saying goodbye on IM is kind of like saying, "Ok.. I need to get back to work now, so please would you shut up!"

[Simon]

Jim, I think you hit on the most awkward point in regards to IM. Kind of like having a phone conversation and walking away from the receiver instead of hanging up. I prefer e-mail.

[Mark]

Back when I stayed signed into an IM client all the time, I would cringe when certain folks signed in, knowing full well that my personal computer time was just about to be interrupted. We have been out of the IM game for a couple years now. E-mail rules over IM with an iron fist.