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Friday, 16 September 2005



I'm sorry that your experience of the Church has made you feel this way. Much like yourself, most of my life was spent questioning the purpose and validity of religion, especially Catholicism. Unlike yourself, however, I was able to find the answers that resolved the intellectual and experiential confusions I had encountered all those years. The biblical stories, the miracles, the "proof" that I needed to have before I would be convinced was given to me, though it was my pursuit that unearthed the realities buried beneath misconceptions. Facts and theories, surrounded with historical records and liturature, all piecing together to frame a picture that we know as "the Catholic Church," are what I have at my disposal now.
My own struggle to understand the 'why is that' is not finished. But at least I have been able to come to a place of peace and understanding that no longer leaves a bad taste in my mouth, as if I was being lured or fooled into believing a global hoax. The reason that religion has stayed alive is because great thinkers of every age are compelled to study it, to learn the details, to challenge its validity, to stretch the limits of 'why we believe', and for some strange reason, they are convinced that it is true. Not based off of only someone else's opinions, but from facts backed up by personal conviction.
As I said at the beginning, I am sorry that your experience has not been fruitful in finding the answers that should have been given to you so you could properly decide for yourself. Perhaps you feel that they were, and you have to follow your conscience in that. Still, if you aren't sure, don't give up until you get answers.
God will guide you.
-Congratulations on the birth of your child.
Aaron (found you on blogsearch)


I can certainly relate to this one. I started out believing everything I was told in Catholic school. And that was the biggest part of my problem. While there were other kids who could just blow off Sister's suggestion that eating meat on Friday would lead to an eternal stint in the fires of Hell, I swallowed the concept ... hook, line, and sinker. Which caused me to spend that part of my life which should have been the most carefree , pretty much scared to death. Doubly sad, seeing as how I was a parent and teacher's dream ... Always obeyed, and got straight A's.
I grew up and started to question this whole thing when I could no longer ignore that quite a few of the things I had previously accepted not only didn't make sense, but they were causing me to be less of a person than I could be. Thus started my journey to discover how I MYSELF thought and believed. At 51, I am still walking down that path, and I am sure I will still be on it at my deathbed. And this is the greatest of discoveries for me. Because it means that I finally recognized that I am a mere mortal who was never intended to figure it all out. Just to try.


And you know Tina, what would be the fun in figuring it all out? What would there be left to do but start all over again?


"Peace is flowing like a... Ri-iiii-verrr.  Setting all the cactus free!"


I always thought it was "Setting all the captains free."

I survived twelve agonizing years of Catholic school. They lost me very early on, right after our fifth-grade math teacher Sr. Maria Madonna made all the boys in the room raise their hands and promise they would never, ever let any woman they know ever have an abortion. I recognize Sr. M.M.'s heavy-handed uberpatriarchal approach is not representative of all Catholic education, but hell, it sure did me in. I was out, man, out!

Made worse only by the seventh grade, when I witnessed another nun grabbing a third-grade girl by her pigtails and slamming her head repeatedly against a cinder-block wall until my horrifed lay teacher ran out into the hall to intervene.

Holy crap.


Wow, I am impressed with how you are able to lay out your thinking so clearly. I am quite a bit older than you and spent a lot of years "angry" with Church - not helpful to moving on. Now I am ready to try and sort out my thinking it seems to be that it is hard to find ways to talk about it.

I expect your babe in arms is now trying hard to crawl or walk.

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