Having a rapidly growing boxer dog puppy requires the addition of a larger doggie-door than the one that currently accommodates our ten pound runt of a jack russell. At four months of age, the puppy can now just barely squeeze through the smaller door flap.
Ergo, Sunday afternoon called for Simon to don his oft-dusty mantle of Domestic Handy-man Extraordinaire!!
I thoroughly despised installing our first doggie-door when our jack russell was a pup. I am still sometimes plagued with horrid nightmares of kneeling on a pee-stained carpet with my unprotected face just centimetres away from a vibrating jigsaw, unwillingly eschewing the straight line I had pencilled in for myself as a guide, thinking, "I don't think I'd be enjoying this even if my hand had a clitoris."
Thus, the thought of putting off installing the newer, larger doggie-door for our newer, larger doggie has definitely not been off-putting. But I'd rather undergo the experience again versus the alternative of waking to strategically-placed and sometimes pungent gifts three or four mornings a week.
My wife will be the first to admit that her husband is not a handy man. Sometimes rather more vociferously than may be warranted. Delving under the hood of a car, I associate blue with windshields, pink with transmission, green with radiator and brown with the engine. Beyond those basic fluid colour associations, you may as well give me a scalpel and ask me to save the life of a man requiring a triple bypass surgery. Nice knowin' ya.
But I will always do my duty by my family so, leaving my boy to donate his rapt attention to the distraction of Shrek 2, I set about trying to do better than last time.
Thankfully, the neighbour guy is a pipefitter by trade and owns more power tools than I'll ever need, so he serves as Ned Flanders to my Homer Simpson. Just before starting at about five PM, I had gathered about me a jigsaw, a circular grinder, a drill and various hand-powered implements to apply to my task.
(I did offer myself muted congratulations on thinking to pick up some automobile door molding to use as a liner for the larger hole I cut in the aluminium base of the screen door. Better than the triple-layer of duct tape I had covering the edges previously.)
Learning from my hunch-backed, pee-squatting position from last time, I immediately set about removing the door from its frame. This was all done dressed with safety utmost in my mind, coming as I do from employment with a construction company: accoutred in T-shirt, shorts and slip-on sandals.
The swinging wooden bench and matching stool on the back patio were enlisted as ad hoc work bench. I drilled the pilot holes as per the template provided. A T-square and pencil provided the guides for the work with the jigsaw. I loosely taped the paper template over top of the existing doggie-door, since I was just going to be cutting around it anyway, not really thinking that its slight protrusion would offset the pilot holes and thereby the cut lines, compelling me to eyeball a 'fix' for either side two times over.
Once back on the door frame, the screw holes I drilled were slightly off-centre, requiring an impact adjustment to ensure the bolts I inserted made it all the way through. I am far more adept with a hammer than a jigsaw.
The final nut was tightened just before 8:30 PM, more than three hours after I started.
And the goddam dog still peed on the living room carpet last night.
Well I cannot put in a doggie door in this house, but can relate to the unpleasentness.
Just before last years hurricanes we got a new little poodle puppy. She was learning to go outside, do her thing, etc.
Then the Hurricanes came along and wiped all her training out. Apparently for good. A year later she will spend an hour outside running and playing. Then walk in the back door, go to the front door and poop right there. Sighs....
This dog understands "is timmy in the well?" and runs back and forth between you and the object she can not reach, but NO the difference between grass outside and tile inside is too much to handle.
ok, thanks for letting me get that out...
Oh and next time I have a template set for that with my router and jigsaw from doing my brothers house. Just hop in the car, tell her you are going out to borrow some tools.
BOB
Posted by: BOB | Monday, 29 August 2005 at 04:58 PM
Shadow generally taps me on the shoulder, and says, "I say, old chap, could you be a pal and open this door for me?"
Posted by: Paul | Monday, 29 August 2005 at 08:30 PM