Copied, pasted and modified from Byzantium's Shores.
1. Using your current initials, choose a different name for yourself:
Super Dimensional Fortress
(FYI - Mark Hamill recently finished voice work for a new animated feature film based on the Robotech novels. Wick - id!)
2. If you were born outside of your era, when would you want to be born?
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.
3. If you ran a store, what would you sell/have?
I would sell portable holes so that you'd never have to take luggage on airplanes again; just store everything in your portable hole, fold it up and put it in your pocket. Unfold and remove items at your destination, no-one being the wiser. International smuggling would reach an all-time high, crime would proliferate and the world consumer market would begin to collapse - laying sole blame at my feet. My fledgling empire would crumble after just getting off the ground; my wife and children would leave me as a result of the abusive media coverage and I would end up wandering the streets of Edmonton begging for spare change with a black bowler's hat. As the coins clinked in the visible depths of the black hat, I would laugh mirthlessly at the inherent irony. My frozen body would by found by children playing in a spring snowbank after one particularly cold winter, one of which youngsters having stolen his father's now illegal portable hole. As a lark, they would stuff my corpse into the hole, fold it up and banter back and forth, "What has it gots in its pocketses?" The gravity of the situation would quickly reassert itself and the ensuing panic from the knowledge that one boy had a dead body in his back pocket would cause them all to flee home, the portable hole being left behind in the ravine where it would inadvertently act as a drain for the excessive spring run-off that year, thereby saving the city's river valley from the worst flooding in 200 years. Countless lives, bird's nests and tee times would be saved. I would remain an unsung hero unto eternity.
4. What part in a movie would you love to play?
The part where I get to work for three months and reap 20 million bucks for the 'effort'.
5. In your opinion, why do people suck?
They take themselves too seriously. See #3 above.
6. If you had your own state, what would you put on your new quarter?
My son's head. Well, a reasonable facsimile thereof. I'm sure my son would like to keep his own head.
7. What's the oldest article of clothing you own?
A tiny navy blue T-shirt with white letters on it spelling out 'WYDO'. My dad had it made for me when I was two (or so) since I couldn't pronounce 'Simon' and gave myself the appellation by loudly proclaiming, "Me Wydo!" on a regular basis.
8.What piece of furniture have you replaced the most?
Most of mine are rather static.
9. What instrument do you wish you could be more than great at?
I'd love to be able to play the bagpipes. (Shut up!) Any excuse to don my kilt.
10. Record, Tape or CD?
CD fer sure. To quote Garth Algar: "Live in the NOW man!"
11. What do you think would be the best concert ever?
I'd love to see the Tragically Hip play a small bar gig and stick to tracks from their first four albums. They finish the night with an encore performance of 'I'm a Werewolf, Baby'.
12. What is the best part of your favourite movie?
"Yeee - Haaaaa! You're all clear kid! Now let's blow this thing and go home."
13. What do you think is the most over-rated candy ever?
Cotton candy. Ew.
14. If you were writing out your will, who would you give your CD collection to?
Someone who wouldn't mind being horribly underwhelmed.
15. If you could only debate two topics the rest of your life, what would they be?
Religion (spirituality, existence, esoterica in general) and Star Wars.
16. Out of your friends, who would you say you are most jealous of, artistically?
My high school bud, Jeff. Haven't seen him in years, but his skill with any sort of artistic medium whereby you mark a dense surface with a less dense object to create images of 'things' was far beyond what I'll ever have. I peaked at stick men.
17. Most jealous of....intellectually?
My fraternity brother, Mike. He's ten or so years my senior and incredibly well read, and well spoken. He makes being a spin-doctor look easy.
18.What do you collect?
Books, bad habits, good friends, sleep when I can...
19. What is broken that you have, that you wish was fixed?
My initiative (sometimes). And my red laser-pointer needs a new battery.
20. What do you do when you're home, sick?
Mope and act generally disgruntled. Blow my nose a lot. Sniffle. I cannot disagree with the accusation that most (almost all) men are big babies when we're ill. It's genetic.
21. Story behind your username?
A friend of mine was composing an Email that included my full name. He used spellcheck before sending the document. Since 'Simon Fraser' is not in the dictionary, it came back with the suggested correction of 'Simian Farmer'. It stuck. And since I frequently post stuff about raising my son, I find it rather apropos.
22. Current Favourite Article of Clothing?
For our first anniversary, my wife got me a 30 year-old version of the T-shirt that I mentioned back at question #7. I am WYDO once more.
23. Line from the last thing you wrote for someone?
In an Email I composed yesterday was the line, "I almost felt I should have been wearing a yarmuckle and saying a Harachamon prayer." Make of that what you will.
24. A famous person you have met?
When my mother worked in local TV, I once did a construction safety video with Nathan Fillion. He wasn't famous at the time, but he has since gone on to star for a couple seasons in a soap opera and a prime time sitcom. He was also the wrong Private Ryan that Tom Hanks' platoon stumbled upon in the movie, Saving Private Ryan. He starred in the sci-fi series, Firefly; doing the movie Serenity also. I feel privileged to have met him. We wore hard hats together and I actually had a line; something to do with a ladder that was too short.
25. Favourite way to waste time?
Surfing the 'net. I could also spend hours staring into a campfire. Both activities seem to have the same effect on me.
That's it. Now you know.
A friend of mine who can teach a course on fandom (i.e. drove 5 hours to see the special fan preview screening of Serenity in Toronto a couple of weeks ago) will certainly be thrilled to hear about your co-starring role with Nathan Fillion!
Paula
Posted by: Paula | Thursday, 07 July 2005 at 12:16 PM
We can teach that course jointly, then. She can take Firefly/Serenity and I'll handle the Star Wars chapters.
We'll make a mint off of textbook sales alone!
Posted by: Simon | Thursday, 07 July 2005 at 01:17 PM