What if...

Lissa, a funky gal who likes stuff... and junk, pegged me for this little endeavour.

Pick five items from the list below and write about them. 
My comments are below, my snide remarks are in italics.

If I could be a musician.
If I could be a farmer. (I am... a Simian Farmer)
If I could be a psychologist.
If I could be a lawyer.
If I could be a missionary.  (I actually prefer the... never mind)
If I could be a gardener.
If I could be a painter.
If I could be an architect.
If I could be a doctor.
If I could be a linguist.  (I am a cunning linguist)
If I could be a writer.
If I could be a professor.  (I would have done it with Ginger)
If I could be an athlete.
If I could be a justice on any court in the world.
If I could be a world famous blogger. (Baby steps)
If I could be married to any current world politician.
If I could be a scientist.  (I'd be Stephen Hawking; but bionic!)
If I could be an actor.
If I could be a chef.
If I could be an innkeeper.
If I could be an agent.

And to respond:

If I could be an athlete...
I'd love to get paid to be a professional squash player.  My passion for that game is only now matched by the degree to which I lament the fact that I've not picked up a racquet in almost a year and a half.  Domestic responsibilities, and joys, necessitate certain other sacrifices.  Squash was one.  For now.

If I could be an agent...
I'd be secret agent Double-Oh-Se7en.  The best one - the Sean Connery version.  I'd travel all around the world with a license to thrill, getting to play with cool gadgets and scoring with the ladies.  I'd hop into bed with a different dame in every non-democratic rebellious state hell-bent on destroying America, and at just the right time I'd whisper in her ear, "Reverify distance to target... one ping only, please."

If I could be married to any current world politician...
I'd elect to be married to George W. Bush.  Though I am demonstrably heterosexual, I'd be willing to take one up the ol' dirt road just to see the righteous outrage that would suffuse his nation and topple him faster than Belinda Stronach 'dropping her napkin' under the table at 24 Sussex Drive.

There.

Oh, and I'm getting rather excited that in twelve hours I will be boarding a jet plane to go on vacation.  weeeeee!!!

Comments

[Paul]

Damn you! I've been sitting on that 'cunning linguist' joke all day. I didn't think you'd be so quick to get this done.

[Simon]

Sorry Paul. I have a tight departure deadline coming up very early in the morning and had to get the important stuff, like blogging, done and out of the way!

[Penny]

Ahhhhhhh.. I see the cunning linguist is getting around! BTW, Stephen Hawking, but bionic is awesome!!! Have a great vacation and take pics!!! Penny

[lissa]

Stop in and see us if you get to Toronto! Oh, Sean Connery- he's my NEXT husband.

[Paul]

So, that's three...

[Tina]

Hey there, Simon .... I hope your vacation is wonderful. I just got back from mine ... It ended much too soon, but you have to go back to reality sooner or later, I suppose. Later would have been better, though. Have fun .... Tina