It took me quite a while to get back into the dating scene after my first engagement fell through. It was a relationship almost five years long and came crashing down just before Christmas one year. For the longest time I was far too busy feeling sorry for myself to bother with putting any effort into kindling a new relationship; or at least putting myself out there for the possibility. You don’t really realise how hard it is to wallow until you focus all your effort into nothing else for an extended period of time. It’s draining!
So I had no idea what to expect when I came into work one morning and received a call at my desk from Marty, our CEO. Why the hell would a young engineer receive a call from The Boss? We regularly exchange pleasantries in the hallway, but he would have no reason to call me up personally.
“Good morning Simon, how are you doing today?”
“Uh, very well Marty.” (It was a family owned and operated company, so there was a great deal of familiarity, even with the See-Ee-Oh.) “How are you?”
“Just great thanks. Say, do you have five minutes? I’d like to see you in my office for a sec.”
“Sure thing. I’ll be down there shortly.” --click--
I didn’t care what I was doing at the time, I wasn’t gonna hold up the boss.
So I walk into his office and the first thing he asks me is if I’m single. Huh?! I was a little taken aback. Um, yeah; I am. So he whips out this photo of a fairly attractive blonde chick and says, so, what do you think? Um, she’s real pretty, Marty. Yeah, she’s relatively new to the city and has been doing some work for my family; do you want me to set something up between the two of you; I can give you her phone number? Um, OK… Great! Here’s her number, just wait a couple days and I’ll let her know that you’re going to call. Thanks, Simon.
--exit stage left--
As weird experiences go, that one was right up there. So I called her the next evening and we set up a neutral meeting at a grocery café near to her place in the west end of Edmonton. I arrived first and saw her come in the door. I took the initiative to stand up and introduce myself since, you know, I had seen her photo and all and she wouldn’t have known me from Adam.
We sat on the patio outside, sipped on some iced tea, and I remember eating a bagel with cream cheese, smoked salmon and capers. I hadn’t realised just how salty capers are. They are very salty. We talked about inanities, pleasantries, the weather; I was very impressed with how well I was handling this fledgling endeavour. Plus, Steph seemed like a nice enough gal, so we ended up agreeing to go out to a movie together that same weekend.
It got a little weirder then.
I picked her up in my truck and we headed to the theatre. Conversation wended its way towards slightly more personal conversation than was shared at the café, and it turned out that she was nannying for some of my boss’s relatives; just for the short term. She also disclosed that she had spent some time in New York. At one point, she had been in a situation to meet Donald Trump who, allegedly, propositioned her with an undisclosed amount of money to spend the evening as an escort to a friend of his in a social setting. She declined. Steph seemed rather pleased by the fact that she could claim to have turned down Donald Trump. That was very interesting. Weird, but interesting.
In the line up at the concession stand, I bought some popcorn and pop. Since I had insisted on buying our movie tickets (I have no recollection of what show we went to see), she bought the food. That was nice of her. And then she attempted to tip the concession attendant. He politely, and with a great deal of confusion on his face, declined. I do not doubt that he had never before had to turn down a tip behind the counter at the Cineplex Odeon. They're not allowed to accept. (Cute aside: my niece, until recently, has always referred to the local theatre as the ‘cinnamon oneon’.)
We were in the theatre long enough before hand to step up the level of our conversation again. I offered her my bag of popcorn and she politely declined any of the buttery goodness. I made some very lame comment along the lines of, “Well, the only reason I got the popcorn was so that during the middle of the movie, when we’re both distracted by what’s on screen, we both reach for some at the same time and our hands touch.” Her reply was a polite smile accompanied by an expression that can only be called vapid.
Our exchange sort of petered out until the movie started, through which we sat in silence. Which continued during the drive back to her place. I had nothing of any interest to share with this woman. I found her so far removed from the pragmatism of real life that I could not find any common ground upon which to establish even a hint of rapport.
I dropped her off with some pleasantries, not even a chaste kiss on the cheek, and a promise to call her. I called her a couple days later and left a message. She returned the call and left a message. I never bothered returning it.
Thankfully, Marty never followed up with inquiries about our date. That would have been yet another uncomfortable conversation. I’ve gotten a little better at dating since then. Hopefully, my wife would agree.
It sounds like you handled the situation with tremendous aplomb. And by God, you even CALLED when you said you would! You're a rare breed, Simon :)
Paula
OK, the clock's all screwy. It's not 5:06 pm ANYWHERE in this continent.
Posted by: Paula | Tuesday, 14 December 2004 at 10:08 AM