Simian Farmer

Still fiddlin'...

I'm still playing around a bit with the look of this here place that is a sort of home away from home.  I expanded the right side column to better fit some of the text and added a few names to the list of People I know (of).  Some of them I don't really know personally, I have just gotten into the habit of reading their own sites and thought the polite thing to do was to link to them.

That's all...

Searching uphill

So Microsoft is soon going to be unveiling its own search engine in order to compete with the current reigning champion: Google.  I think that's great since at the very least it'll inspire the folks at Google to improve their own product just that much faster.

It's going to be an uphill battle for Mr. Gates, in my opinion.  Being curious about the current status of the new MS search tool, my autonomic response to sate that curiousity was to do a quick search on Google.  Ironic.

Good luck, Bill.  You can't be the dominant player ALL the time.

To you from failing hands we throw...

I hope you took some time today to pause and remember those who have fallen in armed combat around the globe for the sake of the freedom that so many of us take for granted.

My own grandfather served in a British tank batallion during WWII.  He was captured and served 9 months in a POW camp.  When he left, after the camp was liberated, he had lost all his teeth and weighed in at an astonishing 90 pounds.

He died when I was very young and I wish that I had been able to get to know him better.  All my memories of him are exceedingly fond and I would like to have been able to talk about what war memories he would have been willing to share.

In Flanders Fields

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders Fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

- John McCrae, 1915

"I see you becoming the greatest of all the Jedi"

Video games are coming close to being hyped just as much as movies are these days.  On my regular rounds at The Force dot Net, they have posted a link to Lucasarts' next most anticipated game release: the game version of Revenge of the Sith.  Coming out on May 5th, two weeks before the movie.

There is even a trailer for it.  But be warned, there are some minor spoilers in there not evident in the theatrical teaser trailer.  Nothing an ardent fan would be at all surprised by though.

I just know that as soon as the new year comes and I can start to see May coming 'round the bend, I'm going to start being nearly intolerable with anticipation.

Lest we forget

Just a quick post to remind anyone who may be traipsing by here that in two days, quite a few of us will be taking the day off work.  There is a reason for the hiatus.  Please take a moment or a morning or the entire day to be thankful for the sacrifices that were made in the names of Life and Liberty by the world's war veterans.

Please remember.

In defense of men everywhere

I was bathing my son last night while my darling wife was out for about an hour or so.  This has become a nightly ritual and one of my favourite domestic pasttimes.  Upon coming home, Amy made an unexpected comment...

Bathing Declan was, at first, a little awkward.  He had next to no motor control, his head was completely dead weight and whether or not we used the small plastic baby tub or the 'real-person' tub, I always seemed to be short at least one hand for proper control.  Not to mention that he seemed a little ill at ease in the water.

This dilemma was solved one night - thankfully not very long after birth - when I just decided to get into the big tub with the boy and splash around for half an hour.  The plastic tub was relegated to storage and a bi-nightly ritual was born.  Given that my darling wife spends each waking hour with our son while I am at work, this gave me the distinct opportunity to bond with my son all by our lonesomes.  He could float amicably at the front of the tub, supported under head and buttocks, free to flail his limbs to his heart's content.  He always looked surprised when he splashed himself in the face; but went on, undeterred.

I quickly discovered how much easier it was to bathe him while splayed across my lap, both of my hands free to lather the many creases he was developing.  I coined the term 'neck-floss' for the process of see-sawing his wash cloth betwixt and between the many chins he was developing, wherein would fester a horrid smelling cheesy substance if left untended for more that two days.

Removal from my lap and further flailing in the bath water was all that was needed for a good rinse.  I then became quickly adept at clutching my son while very carefully standing up in the tub.

This is all a prelude to the fact that, since Declan is sitting up by himself now, he spends his time in the big tub, every night, by himself with his dad hovering over the edge, cloth in hand and Winnie the Pooh squirty thingy at the ready.  He's still surprised sometimes when he splashes himself, but is still undeterred.

...Amy commented on how she was concerned that our son may have a small penis.  Being a man, I'm sure you can imagine how this stopped me in my tracks and caused me to pull my attention away from our bathing son and focus on her with a look of consternation.  She elucidated that she had been watching TV earlier in the week and saw a baby boy being bathed whose 'unit' was larger than our son's. 

Let me say that there is probably nearly as much diversity in the size of men's penises as there is in women's breasts.  Some are larger, some are smaller, and the majority are residents of the middle ground.  The huge difference here, of course, is the fact that men do not walk around all day with the size of their manhood emblazoned on their chest for all to see.  There is far more enigma surrounding the penis than there is associated with breasts.

Add to this several other factors: infants aren't fully developed and will not look proportional for some years to come; circumcision comes into play - a circumcised penis, when flaccid, will quite often appear longer on average since the process of circumcision pulls more of the shaft out from the torso.  And, if you've ever seen that infamous episode of Seinfeld, there is always the 'shrinkage' factor.  A man's 'twig and berries' are both very sensitive to temperature; a man in touch with his body never needs a thermometre.

(An aside here in that I feel compelled to express my views on what I see to be the unnecessary cruelty of circumcision; all due respect to certain religious practices.  I view it to be only marginally less cruel than female curcumcision, which is a practice, unfortunately still observed by some, that horrifies me completely.)

So to answer my wife's question: Our son is perfectly proportioned for his age and will develop into an equally well-proportioned man.

Web searches that found S.F.

As I have been tracking the folks that hit my site and where they get referred from, I've had a few hits from Google (and other) searches for entirely other things.  I'll use this post to track them for my own personal interest.

Web searches that mistakenly stumbled upon Simian Farmer:

• "What did Terry Fox do before his sickness" via google.com
• "Simian Farmer" via google.com
• "I said brrr it's cold in here film" via google.com
• "Edmonton Eskimos" via Feedster.com
• "in recent negotiations for influenza vaccine between a canadian" via yahoo.com
• "brrr it's cold in here" via google.com.au
• "Star Wars Episode iii teaser trailer" via search.yahoo.com 
• "Download Star Wars teaser trailer III" via search.yahoo.com 
• "get Star Wars teaser trailer III 3 here now download" via search.yahoo.com.uk
• "Star Wars episode iii teaser trailer" via search.yahoo.com
• "brrr it's cold in here" via google.be/search
• "I said it's cold in here" via google.com
• "circumcision of boys" via search.msn.com
• "Frederick banting's sacrifice" via google.ca
• "stereotypical description of a farmer" via google.com.au
• "dead ale wives" via google.com
• "revocation of independence" via search.yahoo.com
• "simon amy fraser" via google.ca
• "what did Terry Fox do" via google.ca
• "download tank batallion" via google.es
• "download episode iii trailer large" via search.yahoo.com
• "first minutes of revenge of the sith" via google.com
• "episode III star wars large trailer download" via search.yahoo.com
• "My Beautiful Wife" via aolsearch.aol.co.uk 
• "pics men in the bathtub" via it.search.yahoo.com

That'll have to be it for now.  I get 5 or 6 search hits per day and it's way too labour intensive to keep this list accurate and up to date.

Inculcation of bureaucracy

I believe I mentioned in a previous post that my company was sold last November.  If I didn't, well, my company was sold last November.

Since 1953 it had been a family run construction firm.  We now are owned by a group of investment firms that know a whole lot about the Bottom Line, and absolutely nothing about construction.  From the neck down we're the same company; there's just a bigger head at the top of it all.  By necessity, we have been adding staff fairly aggressively over the past year.  And too, at least in part by necessity, there has been a marked increase in the level of policy and procedure that has crept into our daily lives.

What I'm getting at here is a general complaint that I'm starting to feel a little restricted.  I still love the level of autonomy that I experience at work, but I can feel the walls closing in just a wee little bit.

An example: for the past couple days I have experienced internet restrictions when clicking on certain sites from work.  The updated Symantec security is restricting me from visiting specific locations.  This is not to say that I lust after porn at work.  I regularly visit Brightweavings sporadically thru the day and now I find that I can't access certain of their forum threads.  I can some, but not others.  I am halted by a 'DDR Error' - This page will not be displayed because it contains prohibited words or it has exceeded its tolerance of questionable words.  Perhaps the words used on this site are simply not in the Symantec dictionary - they are a well-read lot.

Similarly for Paul's journal.  Paul, I guess Symantec just doesn't like your home-made tomato sauce or a singing Gov-General.  I'll have to read from home.

I'm just hoping out loud here that my company doesn't cease to be a family-oriented firm and start wending its way towards a corporation.  I would then have to start reconsidering my employment options.  Though frankly, I don't think the current operational management would allow that.

If I ever do actually find myself in a cubicle complaining about a pointy-haired boss, I'll know that I've outstayed my tenure.  And a sudden realisation: I actually own a Swingline stapler, with my name labeled across the top, and have had it in my possession for the past 5 years.  (This will make sense if you've ever seen the movie Office Space.)

Spooky.

God save them all

In what will probably be my only commentary on the whole Presidential election thingy in the U.S., I have stolen a letter that I read on fishering's site. Pretty darned funny stuff. You can click the link below for the letter in its entirety.

Only now, at the end, do you understand

Just after the release of Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones, I suffered some derisive comments from various good friends of mine about the quality of the prequel trilogy. I have always been a staunch supporter of the films to date and, having not 10 minutes ago viewed the Episode III teaser trailer as it was kindly Emailed to me, will continue to defend them.

I promised one of the derisive-commenters that, should Revenge of the Sith not far exceed the quality of the first two prequels, I would take a grinder to my two Star Wars tattoos. Now, having seen the teaser trailer for Episode III, I know for a fact that my skin will be held sacrosanct.

In less than 200 days' time, non-believers will be believers and the faithful will be vindicated in our unwavering support.

It's a large file, so I'll take it down in about a week or so, but in the meantime, here's the teaser trailer for you to download, should you so desire...

Impressive... most impressive.